Monday, September 16th
I’ve been feeling really great and calm for the past four days or so, and I’m expecting it to last for the rest of the week. However, once I reach the 3rd week of my pills, pure havoc is definitely going to break loose on my hormones. Better appreciate the calm before the storm while I can.
I was able to sleep in pretty late today because my Monday morning class only meets once a week, and the rest is done online. I got up around 11:30 and did a full face of makeup, had a sit-down breakfast, and now I’m working on some writing before my 2:00 class. I was able to sit and chat with one of my favorite professors today, and catch her up on all of my life happenings.
Today I’m working on my book gift guide and my Fab Fit Fun review, which will be out next week. I like to push about a week in advance when writing articles, at least. I love having something to constantly look forward to, something to constantly write.
Wednesday, September 18th
The work is starting to pick up a bit, which is good. I haven’t really been up to anything exciting, now that the initial chaos of my first week is over. I’ve definitely established my routine, and I still have extra time for self-care and adequate sleep. Maybe I’m just a fast worker, or maybe my workload just isn’t that heavy. It’s hard to say. I also feel like my temper is a bit more fiery than usual, but that comes and goes regularly.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately that I wish I had more friends, but specifically, more older, nerdy guy friends. Being on a college campus, of course, I’m surrounded by men and women in the 18-22 age range. I know this makes me sound arrogant, but I can’t stand being around most people in that age demographic. It’s especially annoying at my particular school, where cliques are rampant and drama spreads like wildfire.
18-22 year-olds are inherently selfish, and they should be. You’re still figuring yourself out and what you want to do with your life- it should be all about you. But being selfish makes it easier to hurt other people’s feelings, willingly or not. I prefer to spend my time with older, wiser, more experienced people, who (more or less) have their immediate life figured out. I like to hang out with people who have cars, apartments, and money, who are more inclined to talk about capitalism and American politics instead of trivial matters.
I know that this is what I prefer, because I’ve already formed these types of friendships in my young adult life. One of my best friends is a thirty-one year-old straight dude who lives in the Boston suburbs. I generally get along better with my professors than my classmates, and I’m sure many of them would attest to that. Drama really just seems to follow me when I start associating with other kids my age, especially catty girls.
I feel like it’s really not unheard of for lesbians to have more dude friends than average. I mean, what could be better than playing video games and talking about how hot girls are over a greasy bag of Burger King fries? Sounds like a pretty good gig to me.
I’m a little worried about my Micro-economics class. You may remember me saying last week that I was sure the abstract, big-picture ideas would go right over my head, and that’s exactly what’s happening. I’m trying to memorize the steps of the math, but in all honesty, I have NO idea what I’m doing. Thank goodness my professor only assigned four homework assignments for the entire semester.
Thursday, September 19th
It’s 11:59pm, and I’m sitting cross-legged on my bed with my computer in my lap. This week in general has been pretty uneventful, but I do have some exciting updates for the future. For one thing, I am going to see The Lion King musical with my family in about a month, per courtesy of my school’s uber-cheap tickets. I miss my mom and Mark a lot (even though he’s not my biological dad, I refer to them together as my parents), and I especially miss my dog. I don’t mention him a lot on here, but you can find pictures of Duke peppered throughout my social media!
I’m also considering joining my school’s fashion/beauty magazine, and it’s pretty much a done deal at this point. One of my classmates, who is a lovely friend, reached out to me and asked if I wanted to write for the magazine. From what she told me, the articles I would be writing are exactly the type of content I already love to put out. I’m very passionate about fashion, beauty, and lifestyle, especially when it’s creative and unconventional. I’m looking forward to this opportunity!
Like I mentioned a bit earlier, I usually refer to Mark as my dad now because I am estranged from my biological father. I’m not sure if that’s something I mentioned before on here. I obviously think it’s important to keep some parts of your life private, but I would like to open up about that more in the future if it’s something that became relevant to my viewers. Especially if there is a young man or women going through a similar broken relationship with a parent, I want to be a voice for you and share as much of my story as I can, because I think it’s important to talk about these things. Even though the damaged relationship with my father is not my fault, I still feel a lot of guilt as a result of his manipulation and gaslighting. If something tragic ever happened to him, I would probably feel responsible for being a bad daughter. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot, but like I said, I seldom tell people about that situation unless I feel it’s relevant or helpful.
Besides that being on my mind from time to time, I’ve been staying positive lately. I’m still working on finding the best treatment for my PMDD, but it might be something I have to take care of when I go home for my next holiday break. Many of the clinics and offices in my current location are booked out until the spring, so I might as well just talk to my primary care doctor when I go home instead. Or, best case scenario, maybe I’ll adapt to my current combination birth control pills sooner than later and I won’t end up needing to add another pill into the mix. That would be ideal, because I really want to get a cocktail on my 21st birthday and I certainly can’t do that while taking an SSRI!
Coming up this week
9/23- Gift Guide: The Perfect BOOK for Everyone on Your List
9/25- Gentleman Jack: A Celebration of History and Feminism
9/27- My Hair Color History