Monday, September 23rd
It’s unbearably hot in Massachusetts right now, and the flimsy window fan in my room isn’t helping. It looks like the rest of the week is going to be just as hot, so I’m trying to brace myself for that and seek out all the AC’s placed on campus.
Over the weekend, I spent a lot of time thinking about my future, and what type of life I would eventually like to fall into. One thing I know for certain is that I do not want to become a corporate drone. I do not want to wake up every day and dread my useless 9-5 life. I know that nobody enjoys working boring 9-5 jobs, but I would especially despise it. In order for my life to feel meaningful, I need to do work that matters to me and sparks passion. It’s my ultimate goal in life to help people, and lessen the emotional burden we face in the stressful environment of my country. I want to make people laugh, smile, and relax, in any way I can. Even if it means I’m working 14 hour days and just scraping by, I will work those hours tirelessly and with so much joy in my heart. All I want in a career is to be my own boss, make my own money, and do what makes me feel meaningful.
I’m also very focused on working with animals. I adore ALL animals, with the exception of bugs and other creepy-crawly insects. But everything else? I am READY to devote my life to you. As a sensitive person, I’ve always felt extremely connected to animals and wanted to spend time with them. I volunteered for a short while at a farm over the summer, and then spent the rest of my time pet-sitting in my apartment building. My life goal is to have a pet cow; not even for agricultural purposes, I just want to have a cow to hang out with and take care of.
This is a really long-winded way of saying I want to live somewhere with tons of animals: cows, goats, horses, chickens, dogs, cats, and small animals, like rats. I’m reluctant to call it a farm, because like I said, I’m not using it for agriculture. But I want to open up my land to the public, and allow guests to get close-up to the animals and learn how to handle them. I want to open up my land to cow-cuddling, so people can learn how affectionate and gentle these creatures are. Obviously, I would have to monetize this business to get by, and I would also want to blog about my animals, sell merch, or open up a Bed-and-Breakfast. In a nutshell, I want to start a community where people can come and just spend close-up time with animals. I mean, it would be the best of both worlds. I get to hang out with animals, and, I get to help people while working from home! (Future wife: I hope you’re on board with this.)
I recently re-took an assesment on MASScis called Career Cluster Inventory, which is a resource I’ve been using for years now. It’s free and extremely easy to find, so I highly suggest it to all of you. Basically, you are provided with a list of activities, and rate how much you would be interested in each of those activities. At the end of the assessment, the website generates which industries, in best-to-worst order, are ideal for you. My number one industry is Business Management, my second is arts, and my third is human services. I just wanted to throw that tidbit in there for you guys, because I think it’s a really amazing resource. I’ll leave the link to MASScis at the bottom of the page, if any of you are interested in that.
By the way, I am still using a lot of my Fab Fit Fun products regularly! I used up all of the delicious-smelling sugar cubes, and today I used my lunchbox to carry my food. More to come on that tomorrow!
Tuesday, September 24th
Like I said, I’ve been using my lunch box frequently since I received it in my Fab Fit Fun box. Because my diet is very specific and somewhat limited (my choice), I do have to make time in my schedule to order groceries and prepare meals. I have free delivery from Whole Foods because I’m an Amazon Prime user, so that definitely helps me tremendously. I prefer to have my groceries delivered because I don’t have a car, so literally walking to the grocery store is a hassle and a waste of time. I feel lucky that I live relatively close to a Whole Foods (within four miles), so I can have my groceries delivered within two hours.
This week I ordered some kitchen staples, like vegan Deli meat and vegan cheese, to make sandwiches with. The packages are small and compact, so they fit in my fridge perfectly, and one pack can last me up to a week. Every night I swipe a couple of pieces of bread from the dining hall, and assemble the sandwiches in my room before bed. Then I pack my sandwich in my lunchbox, and stash the whole bag away in the fridge until the next day. It’s convenient to have a meal to take with me, especially one high in protein and fiber.
I also got a couple tubs of vegan cashew yogurt, which tasted surprisingly authentic and delicious. I was only able to buy the unsweetened variety, so I swiped a few teaspoons of sugar from the dining hall and added it to the tub to sweeten it up a bit. This is what I’ve been eating most mornings, usually while I do my makeup and get ready.
I also ordered a few other comfort foods this week, as my college obviously does not provide dairy-free and meat-free alternatives for things like that. I let myself buy a pint of dairy-free ice cream from Ben and Jerry’s (finished immediately), and the best vegan boxed macaroni and cheese I’ve EVER had. Seriously, if you’re looking for amazing vegan mac-and-cheese, you have to try the cheddar style by Modern Table Meals. I’m definitely buying that in bulk the next time I order my groceries!
Anyway, that’s pretty much what I do to get by here at college and still enjoy food that tastes good. Although it may not sound like much, it really is enough to get me through the week until I order groceries again. It’s expensive, yes, but that’s the price we have to pay for having specific diets. I’m hoping in the future my college will expand to offer more dairy-free staples, like vegan cheese and almond milk. I’m getting pretty tired of drinking my hot coffee black in humid September.
Moving on, today has already been quite busy. I had to leave my Human Services class early because my professor started talking about lobotomies, and I do NOT fuck around with that kind of stuff. Especially since I hadn’t eaten anything yet, I was feeling really squeamish and didn’t want to risk passing out in class. I’ve been pretty tired since then- panic always makes me feel lethargic for the rest of the day. It must use up a lot of energy.
I decided to go ahead and write for my school’s fashion/lifestyle/culture magazine, so the rest of this week will probably be spent focusing on that. I love having writing projects and deadlines, so I’m looking forward to it! And, of course, I’m going to be working hard to punch out three articles a week on here, plus my weekly catch-up. This is the kind of work that makes me feel happy and fulfilled, so I’m really excited to tackle these various projects. I would say I probably spend 2-4 hours per day writing, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Wednesday, September 25th
My anxiety has been somewhat heightened for the past few weeks, and it seems to come in waves. Sometimes I am able to keep it under control, because I’ve learned a variety of coping mechanisms along the way, but other times I just have to ride the wave.
I had two instances of bad anxiety yesterday; the first was in my Human Services class, as I said, but I was able to leave the situation and go take deep breaths outside. Last night I had another bout of anxiety, but this one wasn’t the direct result of anything in particular. I was watching a show (a murder mystery actually), which obviously heightened my emotions and kept me on the edge of my seat. But then I suddenly started to feel a little anxious. And then, it just snowballed from there. Having anxiety at night can be the worst because there’s no one you can call or talk to; in this case it was 2:00am and everyone is asleep. I was extremely lucky because one of my friends happened to be awake at that time, and I chatted with her on the phone until I was calm again. Now that it’s the next morning, I’m absolutely exhausted. I do owe my aromatherapy rollerball some credit, because after I added some drops to my pillowcase, I started to slowly calm down and get sleepy. It’s never fun to have serious anxiety, but when it interferes with sleep, that’s especially not fun.
I also had some weird dreams; not quite nightmares, but tense and anxious in nature. I’m sure it’s all connected in some way. The good news is, I woke up today feeling fine (albeit tired). I have three classes today, so I’m hoping they go by relatively fast.
Friday, September 27th
I didn’t get any writing done yesterday, not even for classes or homework. My mom and my dog came to visit, so I was primarily preoccupied with that. We sat in the grass and I caught her up on all of my life happenings, and in general, it was just really nice to see her. We’re also planning on getting dinner next week with my brother, so I’m looking forward to that!
Afterwards, I felt pretty drained, so I didn’t end up getting any work done. I don’t think it has to do with the visit, I think it’s because I’m approaching my 4th week in my pill pack and I’m generally fatigued around that time. I’ve gotten a lot of texts from distant friends, but I haven’t replied to many of them. I feel like I just needed a little break from talking to people and helping them with their needs, so I could focus on my own needs for one night.
Saturday, September 28th
Yesterday ended up being really fun, but I didn’t end up writing any more because I was actually off campus! My good friend and I went to Playa Bowls in Boston for an early dinner, which was a lovely time and the banana bowl I got was delicious. If I had a steady income, I would be spending my money at Playa Bowls constantly! Afterwards we went to the Museum of Science to use the telescopes (also in Boston), and finished off the night at The Cheesecake Factory. It was a long night with a lot of walking, but we had tons of fun. Lily is someone I can laugh with all day, all night, and her personality is so vivacious. By the way, for those of you who don’t know, The Cheesecake Factory has the Impossible Burger!
I’m so happy that more restaurant chains are offering more plant-based options, including KFC, Subway, and Burger King. I will say that I’m not a huge fan of Impossible Foods due to their business practices, but if that’s the only thing on the menu I can eat, obviously I’ll take it. I respect Beyond Meat a lot more as a company, and love that you can even get their products at the supermarket! What are your favorite vegan menu items? I’d love to try the vegan chicken being tested at KFC, but it hasn’t caught up to New England yet.
I’ve been focusing a lot more on internships lately, because I need one to graduate in May. I will almost definitely be taking on a Spring internship, and it’s surprisingly hard to find something that appeals to me. Like I’ve said many times before, I’m not a corporate-oriented person. I’d love to find something that allows me to be creative, oral, and visual, rather than feel like a drone or a personal assistant. The unique thing about my degree (Digital Media + Social Justice) is that it applies to almost all industries, so hopefully I will find the perfect fit somewhere!
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Coming up this week:
9/30- Yes, Your Mental Health is More Important Than a Good Grade
10/2- Six Controversial Foods and My Opinions on Them
10/4- News Flash: The Lisa Frank Kickstarters Still Haven’t Received Products