Anxiety, Ativan, and Writing Books: Sarah’s Weekly Catch-up

Wednesday, October 23

I didn’t have a chance to write yesterday, because the first half of my day was too busy, and I felt pretty disoriented for the second half. Yesterday was the day I had to give my four-minute speech, so I took an Ativan and forgoed my usual coffee. I felt pretty solid for the first half of the day, but by 3pm I was absolutely wiped and I had to go lay down. I woke up around 6:30pm, and because I’d skipped my regular morning coffee, I ended up with a pretty horrendous caffeine withdrawal headache.

So anyway, that was the long way of saying I didn’t get any work done yesterday. I’m sitting in my Communication Research class right now, and I’m feeling the anxiety creeping up on me. If my class has negative or chaotic energy, that almost always directly rubs off on me. It’s only 11:30 in the morning, and I’m already feeling overwhelmed by the stressful nature of this classroom.

Anyway, onto some good news! My good friend Eli is coming home for a visit next week, and I’m really looking forward to spending Halloweekend with him. We don’t have any solid plans yet, but I know we’ll inevitably find some fun or mischief to get into.

Friday, October 25

This has been a pretty mundane week, minus my usual bouts of anxiety popping up here and there. I am feeling a bit edgier than usual, and I can imagine that probably has something to do with my cycle and my hormones. Nonetheless, I’m pushing through, and trying to take extra good care of myself in preparation for Hell Week

I’m very excited to report that I will be taking part in my school’s chapter of DREAM, which stands for Disability Rights, Education, Activism, and Mentoring. It’s still in its founding stages, but we have tons of good ideas so far for how we can get this chapter started. I love to serve as an advocate and use my voice as a tool for spreading change, especially when it pertains to something personally important to me. As someone with learning disabilities who has an easy time “passing,” it’s important to me to bring awareness to these issues. One of the biggest problems with invisible disabilities is that you often feel invalidated, or like your disabilities won’t be perceived as seriously as they deserve to be. I’m looking forward to taking part in this lovely movement on my campus. 

Missing this cute boy right about now!

I’m feeling a bit like a hermit today, I’ll probably stay in for the rest of the day and watch a spooky Halloween movie and burn my favorite fall candle. I haven’t had a chance to partake in many fall activities, so maybe I can make up for that by having my own little spooky-themed night in my room. I’d also like to continue my research papers I’m currently working on, and potentially start another writing project. We’ll see how I’m feeling after binge-watching The Shining and The Keepers

Saturday, October 26

Yesterday and today have been quiet days. I don’t have a lot of friends on campus, and the friends I do have don’t seem to like to go out and do social things (no tea no shade!), so I’ve just been hanging out in my room working on some writing. Today I started a new writing project after being inspired by a dream I had last night, so that’s been taking up a substantial chunk of my day. It’s been a goal of mine to write another book, but I struggle with coming up with story prompts that are original and unique. That’s why I’m so excited to be basing a book, a collection of short stories really, off of my dreams. I’m basically winding a story out of my unconscious thoughts, which I think is a pretty cool idea! Do any of you write down your dreams as well?

I’m not sure if this is technically Halloweekend or if it’s next weekend, but either way, nothing exciting is happening tonight. Hopefully I’ll have some decent plans for next week when Eli is here! Happy Halloween-ish!

Coming up this week:

10/28- What if College Campuses Had Animal Shelters?

10/30- A Beginner’s Guide to The Sims 4

11/1- Giving my Friend a Vintage Makeover

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