Monday, November 18
I’m back on campus after a lovely weekend of being at home, and I feel so tired, I think I could pass out at any moment! I only have two classes today, and I’m hoping I can squeeze in a nap sometime after that.
This week, my focus is primarily going to be looking for an internship for the spring semester, and continuing to find a remedy for my insomnia. I will say that my anxiety hasn’t been too bad lately, so I’m happy about that! I think the escitalopram is finally starting to kick in.
Although my anxiety has been down and I’m really grateful for that, drowsiness and fatigue is definitely starting to take a toll on my academics. Now that I’m not running on pure adrenaline, I’m really feeling the effects of 0-3 hours of sleep per night. I’m still going to go to all my classes this week (at least, I’m planning on it), but I’m having a hard time feeling motivated to start my work. Right now, I’m so tired, I feel like I could fall asleep at my desk. I’m contemplating another coffee, but that might keep me up even more tonight. I guess we’ll see what happens!
Tuesday, November 19
Hey y’all, I hope you’re having a good week thus far. I managed to get a couple hours of sleep last night, so I’m happy about that. Tonight, my goal is to get three or four hours. Today, and last night, my nerves were especially rattled because I had impending apprehension about a speech/presentation I had to deliver today. I don’t like public speaking at all, but I managed to pull it together, and I’m actually really happy with how I did! Afterwards, I felt immediately at ease, and my nerves have been pretty stabilized since.
It’s about seven-thirty right now; I know that sounds early, but I’ve already showered and began my bedtime preparation. I’m going to finish up this blog, watch a feel-good movie, and then take Unisom and Ativan right before I’m ready to try to sleep. Lately, I’ve been finding that Keeping Up With the Kardashians relaxes me a lot before bed, due to both the placid nature of the show and the calming voices of the sisters. Tonight, I might try knitting and listening to a podcast, because there are a few new ones I’d like to listen to. Overall, I had a pretty productive day, and I’m proud of myself for pulling out a good presentation!
Wednesday, November 20
You guys, I have amazing news. I was able to get a whole EIGHT HOURS of sleep last night! I put on a podcast after I took my pills, put my head down on the pillow, and I was out within a few minutes. I woke up for a bit around three, but I was back asleep quickly and slept until around 8am. I’m super happy with that, so I’m going to try to replicate last night’s routine again tonight.
I’m also feeling very ambitious and upbeat today, probably as a result of sleeping so well. I got breakfast with one of my friends today, and we talked about writing and publications on our college campus. Somehow, it came up that I could start my own publication, and now I’m feeling really inspired by that notion. I’m already pretty well-versed on WordPress, so it would be easy to add another site. I’m a little nervous to add another site because I don’t remember the Diplomat’s Digest password off the top of my head, so hopefully I don’t get logged out for adding a site! Lol.
Friday, November 22
I’ve recently started taking melatonin tablets, so my nightly sleep has increased from about 2 hours to 4 hours. That’s better than nothing! Hopefully, it will just get better from here.
Right now, I’m sitting in Tatte Cafe with my good friend, Lily. She’s an amazing person, and has helped me find some amazing internships to apply for tonight. It feels good to be getting work done! I’m excited to find the perfect internship, because I genuinely love working and feeling like I matter in society. A lot of the internships I applied for are non-profit agency jobs, so I’ll definitely be able to help people in need. Updates to come on that.
I feel happy with the amount of work I’ve done today, and overall, it’s been a good week! I’m especially proud of my persuasive presentation I gave on Tuesday, because I was super nervous about that and I think I did an alright job. There were some negatives from this week: my Relovv story for my school’s magazine got dropped because of a “page count miscalculation”, I got friendzoned by a girl I was into, and my step dad’s dog might have cancer. Nonetheless, I think I’m ending the week on a good note, and I’m looking forward to a weekend of (hopeful) rest.