You know, I was kind of hoping the Juleen Chronicles would sort themselves out by now, but the tea is still piping hot, and the drama still ensues. Like I said in Part I, it’s never my goal to piss off Julia and Eileen by picking them apart, but I am a writer and I enjoy publishing social commentary. So here we are.
Today I’m going to be explaining the events that have ensued since August, summarizing what other people think about the situation, summarizing what Eileen and Julia themselves think about the situation, and of course, including my own thoughts as well. And believe me, I have plenty.
So, where did we leave off? Julia bailed Eileen out of the clink, and as of now, we’re still waiting for Eileen to make a video explaining her legal experience. She did put out an odd, uncomfortable video trying to justify her shady behavior back in September, but that honestly only raised more questions instead of putting the issue to rest.
Here’s the thing that I don’t think Julia and Eileen realize. They’re “social media influencers,” right? Which means they have no problem with putting most of their lives on the internet (and trust me, I’ve seen way more of Eileen’s naked body on YouTube than I ever wanted to). Obviously, Julia and Eileen are trying to push this narrative that they don’t care what anybody thinks about them; you can judge them all you want and they’re going to keep insisting that they don’t pay it any mind. Begone, bots! Right, Eileen?
Except, that’s not the case at all. Julia and Eileen clearly care VERY much what people think about them and their relationship. Their uncomfortable attachment reminds me a bit of the relationship between Norman Bates and his mother in Bates Motel. They constantly try to tirelessly sell themselves to the internet, leaving uncomfortable, sappy, borderline creepy messages upon each other’s pages. And then, the second a single person steps in and expresses concern, BOOM, you’re branded a hater. Or a bot. Or an ageist homophobe.
As a queer woman and a person who has been surrounded by friends and ex partners much older than me, I’m going to go ahead and reject all of those labels. So sit back, relax, and get ready for round two of my thoughts and feelings.
Let’s start with the red flags I, and many others, have seen popping up all over Julia’s YouTube channel and social media. By the way, I recommend watching the YouTube video titled “Why I’m Worried About Julia Zelg”, which was taken down by the original uploader and later reposted by a user named “bee.” I don’t agree with all of the points in that video, particularly about Eileen being a cold-blooded abuser. I definitely think the video creator was projecting her own life experiences a bit, without enough factual evidence to back up claims of abuse in Juleen’s case. Do I think Eileen is kinda annoying and a manipulative liar? Absolutely. Do I think there’s enough evidence to declare her an abusive partner? Not particularly. That being said, she did have some valid points, especially about the dangers of whirlwind romances and moving relationships along too quickly.
Coming from the biggest hopeless romantic on the planet, I understand how tempting it can be to get caught up in fast-paced love affairs and seemingly perfect partners. You see everything you want to see, and reject the things you don’t want to see as they gradually pop up. 99% of the time, it leads to an unhealthy relationship in which true thoughts and feelings are bottled up. The fact that Julia and Eileen married after less than a year of dating makes the entire trainwreck so much worse. I mean, Julia literally made the most substantial and legally binding commitment to another human that you can. No matter what Julia’s feelings about Eileen are at this point, I highly doubt she’s willing to face the harsh reality of divorce right now. It kind of reminds me of the Kim Kardashian + Kris Humphries scandal; can you imagine Julia’s embarrassment if she divorced Eileen after less than a year of marriage?
I think that in a lot of ways, Julia views Eileen has her security blanket. No matter how upset or annoyed she becomes with Eileen, she only clings onto her even more. The “you and me against the world” mindset only becomes stronger, especially in the face of “haters” and “bots.” I do want to talk about their rejection of constructive criticism in more detail a bit later, but for now, let’s start from the beginning of their whirlwind romance, and where I personally began to see the red flags popping up.
There seems to be a stereotype that lesbians move relationships along quickly; I myself have even joked that I’m a “U-Haul Gay,” so I completely understand what it feels like to fall in love with someone and have the urge to rush things. However, that doesn’t mean it’s always the right thing to do, even if it may feel perfect at the beginning. There’s a name for this predicament: “The Honeymoon Phase.” It’s easy to ignore red flags and pretend you don’t notice criticism when you’re madly head over heels for someone, and Julia’s a pretty solid example of this. It’s also never a good idea to move in, propose to, and then marry someone all in the span of eight or nine months. Sure, there’s a chance it’ll work out and everything will go smoothly, but it’s predominantly more likely that you’ll end up discovering your partner’s “ugly side” the hard way. Or their criminal record. Or, you know, that first marriage they hid from you and blatantly lied about. Just the little things like that.
Of course, Julia didn’t know about any of this until after she’d been married to Eileen for a couple of months. Like I said before, I doubt she’s going to get a divorce after she just spent most of her life savings on a beautiful wedding. That doesn’t mean her frustrations and concerns aren’t bubbling, which brings me to my next point: Julia’s breakdowns on social media.
Obviously at this point, Julia was starting to get a lot of flack for her relationship with Eileen. I won’t deny that there are a few purposefully hurtful comments on Julia and Eileen’s videos, but to be honest, the majority of them aren’t “bullying” or “hate.” Most of these comments come from a well-intentioned place of concern (and rightfully, at that). Julia is a content creator with a social media presence; she has to know that when you put your life out on display like that, there will be people who throw in their own two cents. And that doesn’t mean they hate you, or that they’re ageist or homophobic. If anything, I think it shows that people really care. Especially in my situation- I adore Julia, and I think she’s good-hearted, but she’s so blind to the realities of her turbulent life. And it’s a tad frightening to watch. After the tragic passing of Julia’s grandfather, she hopped on YouTube to make a tearful video about the recent events of her life. I do believe she was genuinely upset about the passing of her grandfather, but the impression I got from that video is that something MUCH worse was going on behind the scenes. Not only her rocky relationship with Eileen, but also the dozens of comments basically telling Julia to run. I’m not surprised it pushed her over the edge. Instead of actually considering that people may be trying to help her, Julia’s allowing herself to spiral deeper into a sense of chaos- and the cracks are starting to show.
Perhaps the newest and most alarming drama in Julia’s life is centered around her ever-changing appearance, including ballooning lips, a face full of botox, and now, drilled-down teeth which have been replaced by veneers. Julia has been trying to assure her fans that she’s entitled to do whatever she wants with her body, and she certainly is, but that doesn’t wipe away all of the very valid concerns her fans have voiced. For example, Julia has very vocally expressed on her channel that she deals with body dysmorphia, an eating disorder, and severe self esteem issues. I personally don’t think it’s wise for someone who’s clearly not in a healthy mental state to go through so many irreversible cosmetic changes. Yes, the fillers are technically “temporary,” but continuing to use them for prolonged periods of time can be terrible for your skin. Also, the veneers? FOR REAL? Julia had perfectly lovely teeth before, and there’s absolutely no reason she had to undergo such a serious and PERMANENT procedure to “fix” them. As of right now, Julia’s veneer vlog has its comments disabled, likely due to the large amount of backlash she received.
On that note, back to the rejection of criticism I was talking about before. At this point, I can imagine Julia’s under a lot of stress when you combine her crooked wife, her constant online backlash, and her apparent ongoing body issues. Rather than thinking critically about the comments that are coming her way, I think Julia has basically reverted to a state of panic and self destruction. I’m sure Eileen coddling her along and telling her that we’re all “haters” isn’t really helping matters.
With that being said, there are actually a couple of empathetic things that I would like to say on Julia’s behalf. I’ve noticed that she’s been under a lot of scrutiny lately, especially around her appearance, and I do genuinely worry about her mental health during these dark days of her life. Even though I also agree that her new, invasive cosmetic procedures are alarming, and the direction of her channel and her marriage are problematic at best, I want to encourage everyone to at least be gentle with Julia. Even if you feel compelled to comment on the situation, like I am obviously doing right now, there’s no need to be hurtful, rude, hateful, or make her feel worse about herself. I’m sure she does hear what we’re saying in the back of her mind, but right now, the scrutiny overload is probably crazy for her and I doubt she’s going to really listen to any of us. All we can really hope for is that she’ll have an epiphany and turn her life around- not for OUR sake, but for her own. I truly wish her the best with everything, even if that means filing for divorce from Eileen and re-starting her own social media presence. Like many of us have said before, we want the old Julia back.
If you’re interested in reading part one, here it is: https://diplomatsdigest.wordpress.com/2019/08/28/should-we-be-worried-about-julia-zelg/