Tuesday, March 31
Hi folks, hope you’re all hanging in there. It’s about six thirty in the evening right now, and I just finished working on my ethics homework and some of my marketing paper. Classes are technically back in swing now (via Zoom,) but I actually have not had the privilege of attending a Zoom class yet. My first class is tomorrow at 8am- how lovely.
I’ve been feeling discouraged with myself lately, because my motivation is at an all-time low. If you’ve been keeping up with my blog for a while, you know that I’m normally very productive and eager to jump into projects. Nowadays, with the pandemic ripping through the world, I hate even getting out of bed in the morning! However, I am trying to remind myself that this is a totally normal response, and lots of people (especially young people) are feeling the same way I am. If anything, I tend to feel a bit more productive around the evening time, so that’s why I’m trying to get some work done now as the sun is setting. I’m pretty satisfied with the work I did today; like I said, I worked on my homework, and I even did a workout for the first time in months. So maybe I am stronger than I think! Additionally, I’m keeping my spirits up by trying to be grateful for the things I do have. No one in my family has the virus yet, though it’s likely that my mom may catch it because she is a nurse. I’m also very grateful to still have my friends (from afar), and Buck, who comes up north to see me every other weekend and self-quarantine in my house with me. He’s coming up this weekend, and I’m so, so excited to see him.
Anyway, I think I’m going to try to get Thursday’s article done today, and then I’m going to dive into a stack of novels. Stay safe!
Wednesday, April 1
New month, same social distancing and quarantining! I hope you’re all able to stay busy, fulfilled, and occupied during the month of April. I’m in the home stretch of college now, which is slightly terrifying and also very exciting. I also started my online classes today, courtesy of the very elusive Zoom.
Today sort of went by in a blur. I woke up extremely early for my first online class, and then immediately went back to bed after it ended. I’ve been normally sleeping in until 11am-noon, so having an 8am class this morning really threw me off my rhythm! After catching another hour or so of sleep, I zoom’d in to my other class for the day, which actually went by pretty fast. Following that, the rest of my day mainly consisted of apartment hunting, emailing real estate agents, eating carbohydrates, and playing with my dog. Not a bad day. I also got some new film loaded into my camera, so I’m hoping to take some beautiful pictures this weekend with my lovely man.
I’m feeling so sore after my workout yesterday! The good news is, I can sleep in late tomorrow and hopefully feel good enough for my second workout of the week. Fitness is one of my current quarantine goals. What goals have you guys set for yourself during quarantine to keep you motivated?
Sunday, April 5
April has already felt like a lifetime, and we’re only five days into it. It’s been an interesting week, and a magically lovely weekend as well. Buck came to visit this weekend, and he brought me flowers and little gifts in celebration of my upcoming birthday! It was such a surprise, and I appreciated it so much. He’s truly my soulmate and my best friend, and I feel so lucky to be with him. We went on a couple of nature walks and tried to get out of the house as much as possible (in a safe, socially distanced way), but we mostly spent the weekend cuddling on the couch and watching Tiger King. We also drove along the coast of the New Hampshire beaches, which was absolutely spectacular and gave us a beautiful sunset to watch. We finished off that beautiful day with some classic New England beach pizza, which he is now a very big fan of. Overall, an amazing time!
Besides that awesomeness, though, I’ve been totally stressing and going crazy about other things in my life. One huge stress for my right now is apartment hunting. We finally found a place, but we have to put down the deposit of $2,500 by tomorrow at noon. So that’s going to be very stressful and probably take up a huge chunk of my day tomorrow. I’m super bummed that this place does not allow pets, and additionally, the maximum occupancy is three people, so Buck can’t move in with me after he graduates like we planned for him to. However, it’s only a temporary housing situation for me and I’m not locked into it forever. After my rent is up in July of 2021, we’re quite certain we want to get a place together (and then have as many pets as we want.) And, of course, he’ll be able to visit me as much as he wants until then.
I’m also just super frustrated about college being essentially shut down due to the coronavirus. I miss my friends, I miss my dorm, and I even miss the gross dining hall food. I miss going to classes and walking around campus and breathing in fresh air. I’m bummed that graduation is being rescheduled, and senior week is almost definitely cancelled.
While all of this is happening, my PMDD is really kicking my ass and making me more stressed and sensitive than I probably need to be. It sort of feels like I’m holding onto a runaway train for dear life, hoping everything doesn’t suddenly derail and crash and burn. But even though I feel crazy and stressed right now, I know it’s only temporary. Coronavirus will end, apartment stress will subside, and PMDD pain will slowly fade out as well. And through it all, I know I can rely on my friends, my family, and my amazing partner. And really, what more do I need?