Tuesday, July 21
Hi everyone! I hope you’re all having a great week, I’m doing much better today than I had been in previous days. Change makes anyone nervous, for sure, and for me, I was having a lot of trouble sleeping in the days leading up to my first day of work on Monday. The night before, I didn’t sleep at all, and then my uber canceled and I was late, but besides that, my training was great and a lot of fun! Obviously it was stressful, but it was actually more comprehensive than I expected. However, the second I stepped outside and plopped down onto the nearest bench, I just burst into tears. I was exhausted, I was stressed, and I had just received a fairly rude text message from a good friend. I probably looked a bit strange crying by myself on a bench in a shopping plaza, but I honestly really needed that cry. I got home, chugged some water, and actually managed to take a one-hour nap. And I really felt better after that, especially after I called Buck and told him about my day. Hearing his voice and him strumming the guitar actually made me calm and sleepy, too, so I was able to fall asleep last night and sleep for a FULL NIGHT! I was so overjoyed when I woke up this morning and realized I felt great. And since my shift started at 7:00 instead of 5:30, I was able to catch the first morning train instead of relying on uber.
Work itself has been really interesting and intensive, but in the best way. It’s complex and fast-paced, like I knew it would be, but I thrive in those environments. I’ve already learned so much in a two day span, and I’m looking forward to work tomorrow!
Sunday, July 26
Hey guys, I’m happy to report that my sleep schedule has definitely returned to normal and I’m feeling much less stressed about work. I do have another 5:30 shift tomorrow, but my coworker is very kindly going to give me a ride so I don’t have to worry about finding an uber or walking at 4:30. I’m also going to have Nathaniel go over some drinks with me tonight, even though we’re technically not supposed to “work off the clock.” I have really high processing skills but really low memory skills, so when I am trying to learn a new routine or sequence, I need a LOT of practice!
My mood has been predominantly fine, but also a bit of a rollercoaster. Sometimes I wake up feeling bright and cheery, and other times I feel like my eyes are going to roll out of my head every time someone annoys me. I’ve been missing Nathaniel a lot lately because I haven’t seen him in more than two weeks, and that definitely affects my mood. However, we are both working really hard to plan something out this week. I know it doesn’t do any good to think/feel this way, but whenever I see pictures of him having fun and hanging out with his other friends, it makes me feel…bad? Not in a sense that I don’t want him to have friends or anything- of course I do- but I guess I just feel bad that I’m not them. When I want to see my boyfriend, we have to basically plan out an entire operation of when and where we’re going to see each other. We don’t get to just casually “hang out” whenever we want, and I sort of envy the people who do. Like I said, I know that could easily become a toxic sentiment that evoles into “Maybe if I was a little bit better, X…”, so I’m trying to talk myself out of it whenever I feel that way. I’m sure a lot of people in “long distance” relationships can relate to that burning feeling of missing someone.
Anyway, after I publish this article I’m going to go to Starbucks to get an Iced Guava Passion Fruit drink (highly recommend,) and then I’m going to work on Tuesday’s article, get some cleaning done, and practice learning drinks. Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a fabulous week ahead of you!