Sunday, August 9
Hi everyone! Hope you had a really great week and you’re looking forward to the days to come. My week has been much better than the one before, and I really feel like I am slowly healing from the pain and stress I was going through. I didn’t have anywhere to be this weekend, so I took advantage of that and caught up on a lot of sleep and “me time.” I remember this past Thursday night I essentially slept from 6pm to 7am, and that was a huge wake-up call for me that last week took a huge toll on me. I was exhausted, so hopefully that will provide some insight into why I was falling behind on everything else.
Today my main goal was to get my new phone set up, which my mom very generously sent to me in the mail (thanks, mom!), and I’m currently in the process of backing up my data onto the iCloud. It’s apparently going to take 4-5 hours, according to my phone, but at least it’s happening! I’m also passing the time by watching Leah Remini: Scientology and The Aftermath, which is my current favorite show to binge-watch. I’ve also been really enjoying The Last Dance, which is a documentary series about Michael Jordan and several other basketball stars who played for the Bulls. No, I would have never picked this documentary to watch on my own, but Nathaniel put it on when I went to visit him, and I just got suckered into it. I honestly feel like I could get invested in any subject if the documentary was interesting enough- does anyone else feel that way?
As for other ways I’m trying to heal from my depressive episode, I’ve been trying to do a lot more journaling and raw, unfiltered writing in my notebooks to feel more in-touch with myself and my feelings. It’s been so, so helpful, and it’s really helped me to appreciate myself more and understand how my past traumas have intertwined with my current stresses. If you’re also going through similar stress and anxiety, I would highly recommend finding a list of depression-specific prompts and answering one per day. I also made a bubble/flow chart of everything that’s on my mind lately, and discovered through making arrows that several of them were interconnected. That has been really helpful for me to break my stress into smaller pieces and tackle the smaller issues first, working my way into the bigger issues.
So basically, the sparknotes of what I’m trying to say is that I’m really proud of how I’m doing and the healthy coping mechanisms I am taking to better myself. Nathaniel has also been absolutely wonderful throughout this time, remaining patient and loving even in the moments that I’m hard on myself.
I am working tomorrow through Thursday, per usual, and then my good friend MJ is coming to visit me from New York. Don’t worry, we are fully intending on keeping ourselves safe and socially distancing. I’m really excited to see them, because the last time I saw them was last August on the day we met. So this weekend is going to be our one-year friendversary, and I’m so overjoyed to be reunited with such an important friend in my life.
Anway, I’m going to try pre-scheduling all my content for this week so that I don’t have to worry about it while I’m working. I do like blogging and writing online, but sometimes, I just don’t have the energy to get it done! So here’s to hoping this week goes smoothly and painlessly, so that I can find that little bit of “me time” to get it done.