Friday, January 29
I’m very proud of myself for *not* procrastinating and actually getting started on my newsletter before the day I’m actually supposed to post it! Even if it’s just two days before, that’s still a step in the right direction.
Right now I am sitting in a little cafe a few blocks from my apartment. I normally only spend time in either my bedroom or at work, so I was getting a bit sick of that and needed a change of scenery. I feel pretty safe in this cafe because all of the tables are fairly far apart, and it’s such a relaxing, placid environment for me to finally catch up on some work. I’d like to get some things done for my blog today, I have to send some documents to my co worker so he can print them for me (I don’t have a working printer and I need to mail the bank copies of the fraud emails I received last week,) and I also have to work on a podcast pitch for a job I’m applying for. Doesn’t being a podcast host sound like so much fun? I’m going to pour my heart and soul into this pitch for sure! I’m having a hard time deciding on a concrete idea, because I feel like there are so many different things I could do and enjoy. I know that I really enjoy interviewing people and I’m fascinated by the YouTube platform, so maybe I could find a way to combine those two things.
In regards to my mental health, I’m doing pretty alright. It’s only been a week since I broke up with my ex boyfriend, and I’m starting to accept that this missing piece of my life is my new normal. I find that I’m feeling better during the daytime, when I’m at work and laughing with my co-workers, but it hits me harder at night when I start to get in my feelings. I’ve definitely cried a lot and had episodes of feeling horrible and like garbage, but I’m also definitely on an uphill path. I am trying to be easy on myself and remind myself that I should be proud of taking difficult steps in order to better my health and wellness. It’s been especially hard that I have had to go through this completely alone. My parents both live really far away from me, and it’s not like I could just go up to my mom and hug her after this happened. I’ve really had to do everything on my own for the past year or so, including all of the hard parts that I could have really used someone to lean on.
The good news is, I am going to visit my brother at his new apartment on Sunday, and even though he’s not exactly affectionate or brotherly, it will sure be nice to see another human being to talk to. We were close when we were super young, but after we started growing up and I became the “annoying little sister” we sort of lost our sibling connection. We’re still not exceptionally close, but it makes me happy to know that we are starting to be friendly again now that we’re both grown adults. My brother is the sort of person who would never answer my phone calls if I needed him, or make a point to reach out to me to see how I’m doing, so the fact that he’s even letting me come visit him for an entire day is huge.
Anyway, that’s pretty much it for now. There’s not too much else going on in my life, besides the fact that my partial unemployment benefits were approved and I can claim them on Sunday. Hooray! Another weight lifted off of me this week.