Monday, March 1
Oh my goodness, it’s March already. Honestly, I’m relieved. Is it just me, or does February feel like a filler month? I can’t think of a single person who had a good February.
I know I’ve been a bit slow on getting things up on my site, and that’s because I was going through a bit of an unmotivated spell. My ADHD and PMDD causes me to have manic episodes and downward crashes similarly to someone with BPD, so right now is definitely what I would characterize as a crash. I felt on top of the world for about three weeks straight, running on minimal sleep, getting so much artwork done, constantly pouring out ideas, and now I’m having a hard time moving from my bedroom to my living room.
It’s hard to be away from my family during this, because I am definitely someone who relies on hugs, long talks, and physical contact when I’m feeling sad or dissociative. I think it will be really good for me to go back to work tomorrow and interact with my co-workers and customers. I also have some sample work to get done for a potential job opportunity, so that will be keeping me busy as well.
I find it hard to get out of these ruts because 1) I’m usually super happy all the time, and it’s upsetting to wake up and feel like the world isn’t real, and 2) once I fall into a cycle of unmotivation, I don’t know how to jump-start myself back together. I’m trying to slowly ease into feeling upbeat and active again by getting this article up on the site, and then I’m going to see if I can get something done for Analog.
I am extremely excited to be moving to Maine in (hopefully) a month! Like I said, I have a potential job offer on the table, but besides that, I’m still looking for a sublet for my current place and a new apartment to move into. It’s a slow and often stressful process, but I know everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.
Sorry for being a bit of a bummer this week! I will say, I’m already feeling so much better now that I’m in a different room of the house and doing something that makes me feel happy. I hope you all have a wonderful week and you make good choices.