Sunday, October 18

I’m happy to say I’ve had a super productive weekend, and lots of time to unwind and de-stress after working forty hours last week! I normally only work 32 hours per week, but my boss asked me to cover a Friday shift and I can always use the extra money. On Friday, Buck came over and spent the night (as he usually does on a weekend night) and we ordered delivery and watched cartoons (as we also usually do.) My back was so sore after spending so much time running around at Starbucks, I had no problem falling asleep in the blink of an eye on Friday. The last thing I remember is Buck watching tik toks and turning his phone to show me them as I fell asleep, lol.

Check out the fabulous lighting in my room! This mirror is magical.

Yesterday was catch-up-on-things-around-the-house day, so I did tons of laundry, cleaned up my room, and went grocery shopping at Target. The Target I went to was definitely not the closest grocery store to me, but I like to go there because it’s the single ONLY location I know that carries the Gardein Chick’n Florentino. I also bought a bigger reusable water bottle, because I definitely don’t drink enough water throughout the day and I’d like to make a bit more of an effort. I also started watching Coven last night, the third season of American Horror Story, despite Buck’s warnings that it’s going to be too spooky for me. I will admit, I’m four episodes in and it is quite disturbing, but I’m definitely too deep into it now and I HAVE to see how it ends. I actually don’t watch a lot of Netflix nowadays, but hey, it’s spooky season, and what better way to spend October than binging spooky television?

To be honest, it’s been really nice to focus all my attention on something besides work. I have definitely felt like Starbucks is consuming my life lately, particularly since it’s so intensive and there’s even some internal store drama going on. I’m trying to transfer pretty badly, both for my own well being and to cut my commute in half, but I’m also not opposed to finding a new job altogether. Even if I just cut back on my hours and spend more time doing freelance/remote work, that would be a step in the right direction.

On that note, today has been all about applying for jobs and getting some writing done. I’m going to start publishing two articles a week instead of three for the foreseeable future, because with my current busy schedule it’s just too easy for me to get behind. I’m looking forward to the week ahead, including weekly dinner with my friends and taking Nathaniel on a surprise date some day next weekend, and *maybe* even a response from a new job? Stay tuned!

Had a lovely little picnic in Brighton yesterday. I love these overalls.

Wednesday, October 7

I’ve had pretty much exclusively early shifts this week, which is difficult when I’m scrambling out of bed at 5:30am but totally worth it when I’m clocking out at 3:30 in the afternoon. I think having four straight days of waking up madly early has been taking a toll on me, as I usually have one 8 or 9am start time thrown in somewhere in the middle to help me recharge. I think feeling consumed by work this week has made me a bit more irritable and sensitive than usual, which isn’t really surprising.

I’ve also been stressed because the expenses of living completely independently are more present than ever. Because I have to switch subways four times a day just to get to and from work, my train fare bills are so expensive. I did the math and it looks like I spend $115 a month just taking the subway! On top of that, I essentially ran out of food yesterday and my SNAP benefits don’t land until Saturday, so that was really stressing me out. I decided to get my dinner from Starbucks because I get free food for working there, and then I went to another Starbucks that was closer to Buck’s school so I could eat with him and spend some time getting work done with him. He bought me dinner on the spot when he learned that I’m broke, which made me cry like a baby in the cafe. And then, afterwards, he paid my train fare to get home! I also received a few venmo donations from my other friends who learned about the situation I’m in currently. It is so sweet and generous of them, and I don’t think I can accurately put into words how much it truly helped me this week. I have an amazing support system.

I think my takeaway from this week has been that I (eventually) need a better paying job. I have enough to barely scrape by every month, but not much more than that. At the rate I’m going, I’ll never be able to put away savings, get off welfare, or even dream about getting a car. And particularly since I have a college degree and I could easily cut my commute in half (cost and time wise) by finding a new job, there’s no reason for me not to. And I mean, for what? To brew coffee? I love my job and the people I work with, but now that I’m settled into my new life in Boston, I think it’s time to aim higher.

So that’s what I’ve been doing these past few days: thinking about what sort of jobs I’d like to have. There is a really great website for hiring in Boston called HireCulture, and because it specializes in creative jobs for artistic folk like me, I’ve been really excited about checking that out. I’m also trying to be easy on myself and remind myself that I’m doing the best I can with my current circumstances. I know I’m a hard worker, and I will continue to work hard to build a better life for myself. 

Sunday, October 11

It’s about eleven in the morning right now, and for the second time ever, Nathaniel and I are actually successfully sitting side-by-side and getting work done in silence! We always say that we want to hang out and do work together, but we usually end up getting distracted and putting on a movie instead or something. Today, however, we both have our headphones in, we’re fully caffeinated, and we’re both click-clacking away at our keyboards together.

It’s so nice to have reached the weekend after such a taxing week. It wasn’t a bad week or anything like that, but it was certainly overwhelming at times and I’m glad to have a chance to catch my breath now and focus on other things. For one thing, I’d really like to do some more poking around for jobs that are both closer and higher in salary. I’m also going to get some articles done today, of course, and then I want to make some plant terrariums for my friends who very kindly sent me money, as a thank-you gift. And then, after that, it’s just going to be video games until bedtime! Playing The Sims is hands-down my favorite way to unwind and forget about the world for a while in my free time. What do you guys use as escapism? Do you have a favorite video game too?

Anyway, I’m hopefully going to get today’s newsletter up in a few minutes, then I’m going to finish my fall lookbook, which was supposed to come out last Thursday. And then, I suppose I’ll move onto the job hunt. If I could find a closer Starbucks to my house that gave me more hours, that would probably be the most optimal outcome. I’ll keep you guys updated on how my ongoing job hunt is going.

Monday, June 15

It officially feels like summertime, even if I’m not able to do my usual favorite summer activities. The weather has actually been really nice here in Boston- not too humid, and not frigid either. Today it was perfect outside, so I ate my dinner outside on my front doorstep and just thought about my life and the world and the universe in general. My hormones and my anxiety definitely took a little bit of a dip this week, so I spent some time crying, doubting myself, feeling angry at the world, etc., but I pulled myself out of it as usual. I think it’s honestly okay to feel however you need to feel, even if it’s not completely sunshiney all the time. I find that the more open I allow myself to be with my emotions, the faster I move on from those funks. So I had my little cry, vented to some friends, and now I’m feeling much better.

In a nutshell, I’ve just been stressed about the same old things. I still cannot find a job, and I’m running out of money to buy food, so I had to ask my mom if I could borrow $40 (and I HATE asking people for money.) When you reach a point of broke-ness that you can’t feed yourself anymore, it’s a scary place to be. However, I am very fortunate and lucky to have my support system, and my good friend MJ venmo’d me $20 so I can buy groceries for the week. Thank you, MJ!

For those who have asked me how they can support me financially, buying a journal from my Etsy shop helps me to pay my bills!

So obviously financial problems have been the root of my stress and anger lately. I know money doesn’t solve all your problems, but it would certainly make my life a lot less stressful. Despite that, I’ve been feeling very creative and generally upbeat lately. I spend my days applying to jobs (I applied to 25 jobs yesterday,) making journals, painting, and of course, writing. Writing has always been my rock, and in a way, a great, healthy, self-soothing mechanism. 


Wednesday, June 17

I’m still in go-go-go mode, so I’ve been utilizing this burst of energy to apply to more jobs, make more journals, and get more writing projects done. Sometimes I go through days where I just can’t be bothered to do anything, and then there are days like this, where I feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done!
Like I said, I applied to six jobs today and my fingers are crossed that one will contact me back. I also put together a list of interview questions for a new story I’m conducting, so that will probably be out at some point in the next couple of weeks. I absolutely love interviewing other artists and writers, so it’s been a real joy to be in contact with so many amazing people through the journey of my publication. 

It’s about 4:30pm right now, so I’d like to photograph some journals to put on Etsy before the sun starts to go down and I lose that natural light. I am very proud of my animal-themed collection- what do you guys think?

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Friday, June 19

These past couple of days have actually been very successful and relieving, for a couple of reasons. For one, I was approved for food stamps, and that’s really going to help me afford groceries while I look for a job. Secondly, I finally switched over to a universal bank after struggling to get that done for weeks! I was also able to deposit my savings bonds while I did that, so that took a huge weight off my shoulders to have savings again. Now, I can finally buy things I need again, that I couldn’t afford to buy before, and I can pay my utilities bills without stress for a couple of months. Speaking of essentials, my mom very generously sent me a package the other day with toothpaste, new underwear, pads, and face wash. I almost cried; it was like Christmas to have those things. Not trying to sound dramatic, but seriously- I could not afford any of it until I took care of my bonds. I feel like a huge relief has been lifted off my shoulders.

The third wonderful thing that happened this week was that I had the privilege of interviewing one of my all-time favorite authors- Wendelin Van Draanen. We had a lovely hour-long conversation and discussed everything from rock and roll to the nitty gritty details of the Sammy Keyes series. Then, she told me she was going to send me a couple of her books, and my heart absolutely shot out of my body. How cool is that, that my favorite author is sending me more of her books?

So anyway, I’m feeling really good and much more secure today than I was earlier this week. I’m so looking forward to my little vacation with Nathaniel at the beginning of July, and I will be sure to take lots of pictures for you guys. Stay safe and please keep wearing your masks!