Monday, June 29

Good morning, everyone! I hope you’re feeling ready for the week ahead. I’m feeling pretty great right now; I’m the only one home at Nathaniel’s house because everyone is at work, so I thought I would take this opportunity to get some blogging done. He’s working from 9:30-6:00, so I’m going to have to get busy entertaining myself (which shouldn’t be a problem.)

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We had a really lovely little date last night. I had this idea to set us up a little dinner on his back porch with a candle and a vase of daisies, and I put on a mellow 70s playlist for us to enjoy over our meal. We also had the most delicious pineapple margaritas I’ve ever had in my life! As you can see, I was really excited to be drinking it.

I’m going home tomorrow, and I’m so excited to tear open my pile of mail and have my new debit card. I didn’t realize how much I used it until I didn’t have one! I’m also hoping my food stamps card has arrived, because I desperately need to buy some groceries. I also have two fun packages coming in the mail: Wendelin Van Draanen has sent me copies of two of her books, and my Fab Fit Fun box is coming this week as well. I’d love to write a book review of what WVD sent me- what do you guys think?


Saturday, July 4

I haven’t sat down to write in a few days, so I figured I should probably update you guys on the fun happenings in my life. On Wednesday, I had a job interview at Starbucks, and I was offered a position immediately after the interview! I was so over the moon and excited to start working on this team. Even though I was only there for about twenty minutes or so, everyone was so nice to me and made me feel immediately at home. I’m really looking forward to getting started in a couple of weeks.

The rest of my week was not too exciting. I made a new collection of journals, which are now published on my Etsy shop for sale. I also received my debit card and my food stamps card in the mail, which was awesome, because it meant I could finally go grocery shopping. In-between that, I’ve just been sleeping, playing The Sims, cleaning and doing laundry, and running errands. Yesterday, I went to the post office to ship out some orders, Star Market to get a few groceries, and then Michael’s to get some more journal-making supplies. So nothing too exciting, but I’m honestly having a great time. I’m in my best week of the month, the month in which I get super productive and energetic before PMDD hits.

I’m going on vacation on Sunday for five days, so I’m going to step away from my computer while Nathaniel and I are living it up in Maine with my mom and stepfather. I do have some articles pre-scheduled, so my content will be the same, but I probably won’t get around to my newsletter until I come home on Sunday. I’ll catch up with you all next week!

2020 has been an interesting year for all of us, and we’re only about halfway through it. Obviously, the global pandemic is causing a lot of chaos and turmoil in my own life, but that’s not the only eventful thing to happen for me this year. In fact, every month so far has more or less brought its own changes and milestones for me. Today, I want to go through the events of my life so far in 2020 and muse over them with you. We’ve still got six more months until 2021, and I can’t even begin to imagine what the next few months will bring to my life.

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January | Completely aside from coronavirus, like I said, the past few months have been an extremely eye-opening experience for me. Last September, I entered my senior year of college, and the third week of January marked my final semester as a college student. For a couple of reasons, I was entering my final semester with my head held high and a sense of relief and calmness. Fall 2019 had been a successful semester for me self-esteem and emotion-wise, but health-wise, I went through a really difficult period of insomnia and debilitating anxiety. I was looking forward to this upcoming semester because I had alleviated most of my insomnia and my anxiety, and I was really proud of the progress I had made with my health. Fall 2019 was also the first semester during which I felt really comfortable and happy with myself, so I was looking forward to continuing those friendships and seeing my friends again. I know that self-confidence doesn’t really develop overnight, but for me it kind of…did? Last fall, I really just woke up one day and noticed that I was happy with myself. I felt good about who I was and the person I was becoming, and other people seemed to notice the new me, too. I was laughing a lot and I was making other people laugh, which was an amazing feeling. This absolutely carried into January for me, and being reunited with my college friends felt so good! For the first time in my entire college journey, I was hanging out at other peoples’ dorms, eating with friends at the dining hall, and feeling comfortable giving presentations. I was also starting to daydream quite a bit about graduation (and actually dreaming about it as well;) thinking about how I was going to decorate my cap, visualizing myself walking across the stage, etc. Obviously miss ‘rona kind of killed that dream down the line, but oh well, that’s life.


February | February was probably the most confusing, stressful, wonderful, and turbulent month of 2020 so far, hands down. So where do I begin?

I guess I’ll begin on Sunday, February 2. I was single at that time, but I wasn’t really thinking too much about it or putting myself down about it. Actually, I was having the time of my life, and really enjoying going on casual dates, feeling really happy with myself, spending most of my time with my friends, etc. A couple of nights before Superbowl Sunday, on that Friday, I went to a small party at my friend’s dorm and had a pretty good time drinking wine and playing video games with my friends. I was supposed to go out on a date with a girl in Cambridge the next day, but when I woke up on Saturday morning, I was so goddamn hungover, I asked her if we could push it to Sunday instead. So we did. And on Sunday, I was still feeling like shit, but I didn’t want to cancel again because she seemed really nice and I was dying to get off campus. So I dragged myself out of bed, put myself together, loaded my Charlie Card with $4.50, and hopped on the green line towards Park Street. I remember being a little bit anxious about going out to dinner that night, predominantly because I was exhausted and I felt like shit, but also because I had basically zero dollars at the time and even the train fare was stressing me out. I also really don’t like taking the train by myself at night, and since I had to go all the way to Alewife from Riverside, well, I definitely thought about cancelling again more than once. 

So I got to Alewife, and the date was okay. Like I said, she was a really nice gal, but I definitely didn’t feel a spark with her and I was totally annoyed with myself on the train ride back to Riverside. It kind of felt like a waste of an evening, considering I was already debating staying in that night, and with the way things had gone at Bertucci’s, I was really regretting the evening. I got back onto the red line, took the train inbound to Park Street, transferred to the green line, and around 9pm or so, I transferred off of the shuttle bus and made my way down to the Reservoir station for the rest of my stretch back to campus. And then something unplanned happened.

While I was waiting at the platform, checking out all of the other people waiting for the train, I noticed a tall, good-looking guy with long blonde hair falling in his face leaning against the wall, with his headphones in and his nails painted black. But it wasn’t the fact that he was cute, hunky and blonde that caught my attention, it was the fact that he went to the same college as I did and we had had a class together last semester. So I decided to go over and say hi to him; particularly after the stressful night I’d had, it was honestly such a relief to run into somebody I vaguely knew at a random train station in Boston. He told me he had just seen Little Women by himself at the movie theater, and that it made him cry a few times, and he’d probably go see it again. I told him that Little Women was one of my absolute favorite books. We got on the train together, we rode the train together, and of course, we walked back to campus together, considering we were both going that way anyway. Turns out, we lived about a house away from each other. A few minutes before we parted, I offered up my phone number, and he texted me about five minutes later. “Hi, it’s Nathaniel!”

I honestly wasn’t expecting anything to come out of this interaction. Even though I voluntarily offered up my phone number, I still didn’t really think that anything would come of this. I mean, like I said, I was just busy focusing on myself and hanging out with my friends, drinking moscato and staying up until 2am every weekend. But then I started to make time for Nathaniel, too, and I discovered that he wasn’t anything like I had imagined before. Like I said, we had a class together in the fall, and I’d always sort of imagined him as this weed-smoking bro dude who probably liked to skateboard and listen to rock and roll. And yeah, he is into rock and roll, but besides that, I got everything else wrong. He was sensitive and inherently kind, he was a bit gritty around the edges but he still had innocence, he was painfully shy but he wanted to open up to me. So, naturally, we became fast friends with a surprisingly deep bond. We went for evening walks around campus together, musing over our shared interests (and our differences,) and we swapped poetry books and movie suggestions and music trivia. As for me, I wasn’t even self-conscious of overthinking anything at all, I was just happy to have him around, with no expectations and no pressure for any specific outcome.

Then, the day after Valentine’s Day, I was at a small party in my friend’s dorm. I wasn’t drunk (or even that tipsy, to be honest,) but I was definitely feeling really bubbly and happily delirious after all the laughing and a few sips of vodka. Around the 11pm mark, I was still wide awake, but I was feeling about ready to head out. And then when the girl across from me started throwing up salad in her mouth, well, that was my call to leave. Without even really giving it a second thought, I texted Nathaniel and invited him over to my dorm to watch Sky High, and he was there, in my room for the first time ever, in about ten minutes.

We DID watch the movie, okay? But then something completely unexpected happened, which was that we started kissing after the movie ended. And that night, I went to sleep happily with Nathaniel laying next to me, with bits of blond hair falling in his face, and the window was open, letting in the cold winter breeze to air out my room a little bit. And since then, we’ve been completely inseparable. Up until coronavirus happened and all the students were sent home after spring break, we spent about 3-5 nights together, listening to the Grateful Dead and stargazing, sitting on my roof and eating peanut butter crackers. 

When I started dating Nathaniel (or Buck, as his family and I call him,) I felt a sense of internal clarity that I had never experienced before. I’d been in love before, but this newfound love I’d found with him felt like I’d suddenly been let in on this big secret of the universe. Like I had discovered something magical that not everybody gets to experience until it happens to him or her, and here I was, staring at his sleeping face in the glowing moonlight, knowing without a doubt that I’d found my life partner, my perfect person, the man who I was going to marry and buy a house with and grow old with and probably have cute little babies with. And with that realization came the peaceful clarity of true love that so many of us find difficult to describe.

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February wasn’t all smooth sailing, though. With the addition of Nathaniel to my life, I also lost a beautiful, strong friendship with one of my favorite people on the planet. I can’t say very much about that, since it wouldn’t be right to breach her privacy and share those details on my platform, but I will say that a very huge misunderstanding turned into the ultimate termination of a friendship I thought would last forever. What I can say is this: if you know that you are doing the right thing for yourself in your heart, then that’s just what you have to do and you can’t beat yourself up about it. Losing that friendship as a result started dating Nathaniel really sucked, and I cried a lot and even threw up a couple of times because of how I was feeling about the whole thing, but eventually I just sort of had to reach an internal peace with myself. Like I said, falling in love with him gave me so much happiness and clarity, I just had to stop caring about what other people thought about me and us. After all, our love story only concerns two people- him and me. In retrospect, I can safely say I made the right decision.


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March | Ah yes, March, the month coronavirus really slapped me (and everyone else) in the face. I have to be honest, at the beginning of the pandemic, I didn’t really take it seriously. I was one of those people who compared it to a bad flu and believed that everyone was overreacting. I think everything started to really hit me all at once around March 12th, because that was the week my college announced that the campus would be closing after spring break and classes would resume online. Obviously I was terrified and saddened, but I actually didn’t react as strongly as you may be thinking. I honestly think I just numbed myself out to everything: no graduation, no senior week, no more friends…I just didn’t think about it and completely shut down inside. Even still, I haven’t even really thought very deeply about it; I’ve been feeling very reclusive and quietly angry about the whole thing, but I haven’t cried once. I packed up all my stuff, cut my bangs (lol,) said goodbye to what had quickly become my favorite place in the world those past few months, and moved home. I still haven’t seen any of my college friends since, except for Nathaniel, of course. Coronavirus could take away my graduation, my friends, my classes, and my spring break, but I refused to separate (both physically and emotionally) from him. It’s hard not being able to see him every day like I did at school, but we see each other fairly often, and we’re always very appreciative of our time together.

Coronavirus was really hard on my mother too, as a nurse in the Greater Boston area. There were a couple of times when she came home from work crying from frustration, and I felt terrible that I couldn’t do anything to make the virus go away. To be honest, we probably both had it at some point, considering we lived together and she was regularly exposing herself to the virus by going to work every week. However, I’m extremely proud of her for staying strong and resilient during the pandemic, and she deserves the very luxurious, lovely vacation she’s planning with my stepfather this summer (if the social distancing regulations allow it, of course.) 


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April | April was supposed to be yet another milestone in my life for me, since my 21st birthday was on the twelfth, but honestly, it just felt like any other day. I’m not exactly saying that in an inherently gloomy way, because I don’t like a lot of attention on my birthday anyway, but I was looking forward to drinking margs with my friends at Chilli’s instead of spending the day by myself, locked away in the apartment while my mom was saving lives at the hospital. Unsurprisingly, I don’t really remember my birthday, but that’s alright. I’m just thankful that I got to have one, and that I am able to be on this earth for another year, safe and healthy, surrounded (afar) by my family and loved ones. I don’t know if this happened in April or not, but around this time, I also started to feel much more like an adult and like a woman. I actually just looked in the mirror one evening and realized that I felt…different. I had been doing a lot of realizing and developing since January, so I think that played a large part in it, but I definitely have felt like a different, more mature person since then. April was quietly moving and substantial, unlike February and March, which really hit me like a bus. 


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May | Ironically, May should have been the most exciting month of the year for me, but it was actually the most boring. I will say that I moved into my first apartment, which has been exciting, but also very…lonely. I am grateful for the things I have and the support around me, but I can’t help but wish things were different. I wish I was walking across the stage in my cap and gown, like I had been daydreaming about all the way back in January. I wish I had a job and money to spend, instead of counting my quarters at the laundry machine and forgetting my debit PIN at Walgreens because I hadn’t even used a card in so long. I wish I was living with Nathaniel and waking up next to his sweet face every day instead of waking up alone at 4am with anxiety attacks and the train thundering right outside my city window. There are so many things that I wish had turned out differently, but that’s okay. When things don’t go the way I plan, I simply try to say, “I expected that,” and then I move on with my life and hope for a better tomorrow. Life will not treat you any kinder or any fairer just because you’ve been through a few things and you think you deserve it. 


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June | While the spring brought the devastating wave of COVID-19, summer brings its own sparks of chaos and turbulence. Police brutality, protests and riots, and the murder of George Floyd have been centric throughout the month of June, as they rightfully should be. It’s high time we discuss these horrible racial issues in our own country, and I am proud to be a part of such a critical movement. These uprisings across the nation have also given me an opportunity to examine my own privilege and work even harder at being a better person and ally for my vulnerable friends and surrounding communities. I have donated to organizations, signed petitions, and tried my best to spread awareness on social media, but the battle is far from over. If you have the time and resources, please consider doing the same! Additionally, it is more important now than ever to support black-owned businesses and companies. 

Although some may believe that 2020 is a horrible year, and I do understand that sentiment, I also believe it has sparked so much growth and conversation across the world. Rather than holding the mindset that 2020 is the worst year ever, I am trying to remind myself that 2020 could be one of the most important years for us. We must take these lessons and privations thrown at us and respond with strength, courage, and action- ranging from coronavirus to civil unrest. I truly wish everyone a safe and happy rest of the year, and I am looking forward to seeing where the rest of 2020 takes us. You are stronger than you believe, and I know we can get through anything!

Sunday, May 10

Hi everyone, I hope you’re all doing well. I’ve had a surprisingly productive/busy day for a Sunday; I went grocery shopping, helped my roommate deep-clean the apartment, meal prepped for the week, applied to three jobs, started a story for Analog, and now I’m blogging! I also touched up my roots with some bleach, but that didn’t turn out as 100% as I wanted. Nonetheless, I think I did a pretty good job.

I feel pretty well adjusted to the groove of my apartment life, but I’m still not 100% settled. For one thing, I’ve had a little bit of a writing block when it comes to blogging. Projects with my hands are fine, like painting and book binding, but I honestly haven’t felt settled enough to really sit down and type since I moved in. I know this sounds dramatic, but I’ve only just been so focused on survival that I haven’t really thought about my blog or Analog. That’s why tonight I’m trying to really buckle down and get an article or two done, so I don’t fall behind.

I think after I write this, I’m going to make some grilled cheese and soup for dinner, and watch some more Love Island. I think I’m going to see Buck this weekend, so that’s exciting! I miss him tremendously. 


Saturday, May 16

Hi guys! Hope you’re all staying safe and happy. I know I haven’t sat down to write in a few days; I’ve been preoccupied by visiting my boyfriend in his hometown. I hadn’t seen him since before I moved, so it was really nice to catch up again and spend some quality time together. We’ve been spending a lot of time at home, of course, but we’ve also been out on a few drives, and we even went for a lovely nature walk around the mountains the other day. I also learned he makes an amazing grilled cheese sandwich, so I’ve been requesting that a lot for dinner lately, haha! The other way we’ve been occupying our time is through watching tons of movies and ordering takeout. I love my new apartment, but it’s always nice to come out here and spend time with his family, too. In fact, it’s pretty likely I’m going to break my lease within the next 6-8 months and move out here to be with him. We already know we want to get married, move to Vermont, and have little babies someday, so we’re definitely ready to take that next step and move in together.

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Speaking of that, I’m not planning on getting married anytime soon (not for at least 2-3 years,) but I did find my absolute dream wedding dress on Etsy and I am dying to order it now, since it’s a vintage item and once it sells, it’s gone. It’s a gorgeous seventies off-the-shoulder lace dress with a deep back, and I’m absolutely nuts for it. It’s only $275, so if I scrape together some savings, I think I can buy it before it sells. I’m also probably going to receive some graduation money (today would have been my graduation if it wasn’t for coronavirus,) so I can put that towards the dress as well.

Anyway, I’m going back to Boston tomorrow (sadly,) and from there I need to do some meal prepping, open a new bank account, and continue my never-ending job search. I’m going to celebrate so hard the day I get a job, even if it’s just doing retail work or bussing in a restaurant. I’ll be sure to update you guys on how that process goes. Enjoy these pictures from my beautiful week in Western Massachusetts! 

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Literally the happiest day of my life

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Wednesday, April 29

It’s been a while since I’ve sat down to write for my blog, and that’s because I’ve been with Buck for the past few days and he’s been keeping me busy! Rather than him coming to my home, I actually went to meet his family this time. We had a really wonderful few days together, and I was so happy to meet his family and see where he grew up. Obviously, with the pandemic and social distancing in place, we weren’t exactly going out for ‘dates,’ but we did go for lots of drives and he even took me to see some cows, because he knows how much I love them. We also watched lots of shows and movies, including Coco and Lars and the Real Girl. Both movies made me cry quite a bit, of course. Overall, it was a perfectly lovely time and I can’t wait to see him again.

In other exciting news, I am moving into my first apartment on Friday morning and I am so excited and nervous! I’m going to have to start packing faster, because I’m a bit behind on that. I can’t wait to post pictures of how I have decided to decorate my place, particularly my pantry. 


Saturday, May 2

I haven’t had much time to write this week, because I’ve been so busy with moving and unpacking and all of that chaos. The good news is, I’m pretty well settled in now. The only issue we’re having is that our internet is not set up, so I’m typing this on my phone and probably burning through my data.

It took me about five hours to move and unpack everything, and then I ordered takeout from my favorite restaurant and called Buck to tell him about my day. I’m pretty stressed about the internet problem because I have a lot of homework to do and I can’t get online to access it, but we’re hopefully going to have it fixed by Monday.

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This is my room!

I surprisingly slept pretty well last night; by that, I mean I fell asleep pretty quickly. I did wake up a few times because I’m not really used to the sounds of the city, and at one point I woke up because I was having an anxiety attack, but that was it! Today I’m helping my housemate and friend Erin unload her stuff, and reading books in-between since I can’t get on the internet. I’ve been feeling like reading the Sammy Keyes mystery series lately, which was my favorite series when I was younger. I’m sure the desire for nostalgia has to do with me moving to an unfamiliar area.

Anyway, I’m going to hang out here and continue to help Erin for the rest of the day. I can’t wait to see Buck, and I hope he is able to come see me soon. In a time of unfamiliarity, he keeps me grounded.

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With all of the turbulent changes happening to many of us during this time, it’s no surprise that our routines from morning to night are changing as well. I’ve actually planned on posting this article for a while now- it just so happened that the date lined up with a global pandemic. Because I am living at home currently, my schedule is quite a bit different than it was when I was living on campus. For one thing, I’m able to sleep in a little bit later! I also have more time for other things, such as workouts and doing my makeup. From start to finish, this is how a usual weekday morning goes for me.

Like many people, the first thing I do in the morning after shutting off my alarm is take a few minutes to scroll through my phone. I’m a member of several group chats that I keep muted, so the first thing I’ll usually do is flip through my messages and make sure I’m not missing any important information. I’ll also check my many emails: my regular email, my school email, and my work email, to see if there is anything crucial I need to add into my daily workload. Additionally, I like to read through theSkimm newsletter sent to my email to stay up-to-date on current events.

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After catching up on socials and messages, the next thing to start my morning is a big cup of black coffee. My caffeine intake has been slowly increasing over time, and as of right now, I’m averaging about 16oz of coffee per day. The less coffee I have, the less productive and awake I’m likely to be. I also prefer a light breakfast over a super substantial one, unless it’s a weekend and I’m feeling a bit fancier. Lately, I’ve been enjoying either the soft-baked Belvita breakfast bars, or a bowl of vanilla yogurt with blueberry granola. 

I’ll either put in my contacts before my morning shower, or immediately after; either way, it’s one of the first things I do when I wake up. Putting in my contacts can also really wake me up if I’m feeling groggy- there’s nothing like sticking your fingers into your eyeballs to make you feel awake. 

At least twice a week, I like to do a quick workout to help me jump into the day and make me feel pumped and ready to get things done. I don’t like going to the gym (and even if I did, I wouldn’t leave my house right now,) so I follow exercises from a workout book called Body Boss. The workouts usually take me between 15-25 minutes, depending on how long I decide to warm up, and encompass everything from cardio to weight training.

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By this time, it’s usually around 11am or so, and that’s right around when I take my morning shower. I also do my morning skincare routine, which includes cleansing, toning, and moisturizing. Right now, everything I’m using for skincare is by the brand Soap & Glory, and I’m absolutely in love with their design and packaging. I haven’t been using the brand long enough to know if the products really work, but I do really love everything this brand is about and how cute everything is!

Immediately after my shower and while my hair is still wet, I always go ahead and apply the same two products: a damage repair leave-in treatment by Aveda, and a few spritzes of the Prep Rally spray by Drybar. Bleach really takes a toll on the quality of one’s hair, and even though mine is in fairly good condition, I still like to keep it as healthy as possible. Because my hair is naturally curly, it gets quite frizzy if I brush it while it’s still wet. Using a couple of high-quality products on the daily helps me to keep my hair and check and maintain a salon-smooth silkiness.

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Lastly, depending on what my agenda for the day is, I’ll either go completely bare-faced or put on a full face of makeup (there is no in-between.) I don’t put on makeup with the intention of going anywhere; I just genuinely love the relaxing process of putting on makeup, and I feel really good about myself when I have it on. Even though it’s just a little thing, it really brightens up my day and even boosts my productivity and my creativity.

By this time, it’s usually around noon and the morning is over! The next line of action is just for me to start my work for the day! Like I said, my routine would be very different if I was still at school and going to physical classes every day. I can assure you that I definitely would not be working out twice a week, or spending so much time doing my makeup. However, even though the times are strange right now, I am making do with my circumstances and trying to live my best life. I hope you found this article entertaining, and I’m looking forward to posting my updated night routine on Thursday! Stay safe, everyone.

Tuesday, April 7

Hey everyone, hope you’re hanging in there. I’m doing pretty well; I’ve been awake for a couple of hours and I’m still sipping my morning coffee, and trying to get some work done. My agenda today is a mixed bag: I want to get some work done for my internship, do some job hunting, do some homework, blog, and knock out a couple of articles for Analog. I’ve been really racking my brains lately trying to think of ways to make money. As you’re probably aware, the job market is really not prime for entry-level college grads right now. Monetizing my blog is absolutely an idea, but I would probably lose a bit of money before I gained anything and I just can’t afford that right now. I’ve also been thinking heavily about starting an Etsy shop for years now, but again, I can’t afford to even buy supplies until I have an actual full-time job. My dream situation would be to work full-time in a little bookstore or a shop or something, and spend my other free time making a bit of money through blogging, Etsy, etc. As long as I can be creative, that’s all that matters!

My mom is very supportive of my endeavors, but my dad hates this idea. He knows I’ve been studying my ass off for three years and he really wants me to get a fast-paced, corporate job with my degree right out of college. I don’t know how to explain to him that (A) I’m only twenty years old and my life dream is to work on a farm- I’m not really focused on climbing the corporate ladder, and (B) he didn’t even pay for a cent of my education, so why does he care how I choose to make my money after college?

So anyway, I’m trying to keep him out of all of that and NOT keep him in the loop about my life. It helps that I don’t live with him and I’ve only seen him once since last August.

Anyway, now for some uplifting news. I’M MOVING INTO MY FIRST APARTMENT! In case you’re wondering how I jumped from being broke to making an announcement like that, let me disclaim: my wonderful mother is helping me pay rent until the job market opens again, and I have some savings and bonds banked up, along with my tax return coming my way this month. I’m going to be absolutely fine until the world gets a bit back to normal and I can start making my own money again. 

I’ve already cut back and donated a ton of stuff, and I’m generally pretty minimalist anyway, so I feel like I’m in good shape to move my life into a new home. Of course, it’s so scary that I’m not going to be living at home anymore, even though I basically did that at college anyway. It’s also quite sad that I can’t have any pets like I planned, and Buck can’t move in with me after I graduate, but like I said, we are planning on getting a place together after my lease is up next year. It feels far away in theory, but time flies by, especially with the love of your life by your side. It’s also not completely out of my wheelhouse to make him a copy of my key, and then he can come ‘visit’ for a few months if he wants. 😉 

So, that’s pretty much it for now. I’m going to work on a couple of articles for the blog, and then I’m going to get started on Analog content. Stay safe, stay home, and stay optimistic! 


Thursday, April 9

Hi everybody, hope you’re all staying safe and healthy. I’m doing pretty well right now- at least, much better than I was yesterday. Yesterday was really stressful for me because my landlady wanted me and my housemates to congregate together in her office to go over the lease, as we’re all moving in on May 1. She also wanted our parents there, which made for a total of seven people in a tiny office during a deadly global pandemic. So I was admittedly pretty upset about that, because it was just such a useless and unnecessary trip to make when we’re all supposed to be self-quarantining. It totally could have been an email or a phone call instead of a two-hour visit.

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sneak peak of our new place!

However, even though that was really annoying, it ended up being a great day because I got to see the apartment for the first time. Gosh, it’s so clean and beautiful, and I love the area it’s in. It’s actually quite close to where I currently intern remotely, so if I got hired, that would be so convenient for me! I feel really safe in that neighborhood, and I can’t wait to move in. I’m still trying to figure out the situation for Buck and I after he graduates in December; I honestly might break the lease and start subletting so he and I can find a place. Or maybe, we’ll find a way for him to move in with me. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

So yes, yesterday was pretty crazy and stressful for me, but today I’m feeling much better. I got quite a bit of work done today, and now I’m just working on some blog stuff in bed with my dog sleeping next to me. I’m also going to do an in-depth cleanout of my room later, because I obviously can’t bring everything I own with me to this new apartment. It’s a good thing I’m already pretty minimalist and I don’t have a lot of furniture! 


Sunday, April 12

Happy Easter, everyone! And also, happy 21st birthday to me! Yes, I officially no longer have any more ‘fun’ birthdays, unless you count turning 25 as a milestone. Although we are in the midst of a pandemic and I can’t go get drunk on Chili’s margaritas like I planned, I’m still having a perfectly lovely day. I don’t have any classes or obligations today, being a Sunday and a holiday, and I finished all my homework yesterday so that I don’t have to even think about it today. Really, the only thing I have planned today is to watch Stranger Things and scroll through Pinterest for hours on end, and I’m perfectly happy to have things that way.

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For my birthday, my mom bought me my favorite red wine- the Summer Red Spritzer by Barefoot- and a panic button key-chain by the company invisiwear. It was a really thoughtful gift and I appreciate it so much, particularly since I’m moving into my first apartment in Boston and it’s generally just dangerous to be a young, pretty woman in the city by yourself. She also bought me a sweet little necklace from Etsy a few days ago, so that should be coming either today or tomorrow. It’s a little gold-plated necklace chain with an ‘N’ initial, for Nathaniel, of course.

So today is going to be a great day, and I’m in high spirits as well! I was definitely going through a funk a few days ago, probably thanks to PMDD, but now I’m feeling much brighter and ready to start the week. Stay safe, everyone, and take care of yourselves!

Tuesday, March 31

Hi folks, hope you’re all hanging in there. It’s about six thirty in the evening right now, and I just finished working on my ethics homework and some of my marketing paper. Classes are technically back in swing now (via Zoom,) but I actually have not had the privilege of attending a Zoom class yet. My first class is tomorrow at 8am- how lovely.

I’ve been feeling discouraged with myself lately, because my motivation is at an all-time low. If you’ve been keeping up with my blog for a while, you know that I’m normally very productive and eager to jump into projects. Nowadays, with the pandemic ripping through the world, I hate even getting out of bed in the morning! However, I am trying to remind myself that this is a totally normal response, and lots of people (especially young people) are feeling the same way I am. If anything, I tend to feel a bit more productive around the evening time, so that’s why I’m trying to get some work done now as the sun is setting. I’m pretty satisfied with the work I did today; like I said, I worked on my homework, and I even did a workout for the first time in months. So maybe I am stronger than I think! Additionally, I’m keeping my spirits up by trying to be grateful for the things I do have. No one in my family has the virus yet, though it’s likely that my mom may catch it because she is a nurse. I’m also very grateful to still have my friends (from afar), and Buck, who comes up north to see me every other weekend and self-quarantine in my house with me. He’s coming up this weekend, and I’m so, so excited to see him. 

Anyway, I think I’m going to try to get Thursday’s article done today, and then I’m going to dive into a stack of novels. Stay safe!

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Wednesday, April 1

New month, same social distancing and quarantining! I hope you’re all able to stay busy, fulfilled, and occupied during the month of April. I’m in the home stretch of college now, which is slightly terrifying and also very exciting. I also started my online classes today, courtesy of the very elusive Zoom

Today sort of went by in a blur. I woke up extremely early for my first online class, and then immediately went back to bed after it ended. I’ve been normally sleeping in until 11am-noon, so having an 8am class this morning really threw me off my rhythm! After catching another hour or so of sleep, I zoom’d in to my other class for the day, which actually went by pretty fast. Following that, the rest of my day mainly consisted of apartment hunting, emailing real estate agents, eating carbohydrates, and playing with my dog. Not a bad day. I also got some new film loaded into my camera, so I’m hoping to take some beautiful pictures this weekend with my lovely man. 

I’m feeling so sore after my workout yesterday! The good news is, I can sleep in late tomorrow and hopefully feel good enough for my second workout of the week. Fitness is one of my current quarantine goals. What goals have you guys set for yourself during quarantine to keep you motivated?


Sunday, April 5

April has already felt like a lifetime, and we’re only five days into it. It’s been an interesting week, and a magically lovely weekend as well. Buck came to visit this weekend, and he brought me flowers and little gifts in celebration of my upcoming birthday! It was such a surprise, and I appreciated it so much. He’s truly my soulmate and my best friend, and I feel so lucky to be with him. We went on a couple of nature walks and tried to get out of the house as much as possible (in a safe, socially distanced way), but we mostly spent the weekend cuddling on the couch and watching Tiger King. We also drove along the coast of the New Hampshire beaches, which was absolutely spectacular and gave us a beautiful sunset to watch. We finished off that beautiful day with some classic New England beach pizza, which he is now a very big fan of. Overall, an amazing time!

Besides that awesomeness, though, I’ve been totally stressing and going crazy about other things in my life. One huge stress for my right now is apartment hunting. We finally found a place, but we have to put down the deposit of $2,500 by tomorrow at noon. So that’s going to be very stressful and probably take up a huge chunk of my day tomorrow. I’m super bummed that this place does not allow pets, and additionally, the maximum occupancy is three people, so Buck can’t move in with me after he graduates like we planned for him to. However, it’s only a temporary housing situation for me and I’m not locked into it forever. After my rent is up in July of 2021, we’re quite certain we want to get a place together (and then have as many pets as we want.) And, of course, he’ll be able to visit me as much as he wants until then. 

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I’m also just super frustrated about college being essentially shut down due to the coronavirus. I miss my friends, I miss my dorm, and I even miss the gross dining hall food. I miss going to classes and walking around campus and breathing in fresh air. I’m bummed that graduation is being rescheduled, and senior week is almost definitely cancelled. 

While all of this is happening, my PMDD is really kicking my ass and making me more stressed and sensitive than I probably need to be. It sort of feels like I’m holding onto a runaway train for dear life, hoping everything doesn’t suddenly derail and crash and burn. But even though I feel crazy and stressed right now, I know it’s only temporary. Coronavirus will end, apartment stress will subside, and PMDD pain will slowly fade out as well. And through it all, I know I can rely on my friends, my family, and my amazing partner. And really, what more do I need?

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Monday, March 23

Hope you’re all doing well and staying occupied during this turbulent time! I’m doing pretty okay myself, but of course, I am feeling the stress and anxiety. Today, I applied to twenty-nine jobs online, even though I know nobody’s really looking to hire right now. I also finished two school assignments and a book reflection yesterday, so I definitely feel like I’ve been pretty productive. 

Like I said, I’m keeping my social circle small and it’s limited to only three people. Eli, one of those three, is planning on coming over tonight to watch America’s Next Top Model with me and hang out for a bit, so I’m looking forward to that. Until then, I’m going to try to knock out an article for Analog and a couple of things for the blog. It’s a great time to be an introverted homebody!

I’m supposed to go see Buck soon in western Massachusetts, but obviously I don’t know how intensely the travel bans are going to increase in the coming days. Until then, it’s all about staying home and finding ways to keep myself busy. Updates to come. 


Wednesday, March 25

Hi everyone, hope you’re all having a great day. It’s about 3:30 in the afternoon right now, and I’ve already had a pretty productive day (from home.) My two future housemates and I made a google doc with all of the apartments we’re interested in, so now we’re slowly going through that list and trying to find a place to live. Now, I’m sitting in bed and applying to more jobs, and then I think I’m going to try to get some homework done.

I haven’t had any luck finding a job yet, but I’ve been in contact with several awesome organizations. I’m trying to keep my head up and remind myself that the right opportunity will come at the right time. 

Besides doing adult things, I’m keeping myself busy with baking, reading, and watching lots of Netflix. Right now, my books of choice are Slaughterhouse Five, Memoirs of a Geisha (again), Anne of Avonlea (again), The Tale of Genji, and Disappearing Earth. I’m planning on releasing a “What Am I Reading Right Now?” article in the future, so keep your eyes out for that!


Saturday, March 28

I’m starting my online classes on Monday, and I honestly have no idea what to expect. It’s certainly going to be a really strange transition to finish the end of my senior year, I can tell you that much!

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I was in a bit of a funk this past week, but now I’m finally starting to feel better. It was just a combination of feeling unmotivated, uncreative, and generally unhappy with myself and the way I look. My skin has been breaking out more than usual, probably due to stress, and I’ve been eating more than usual since I can’t leave the house and I don’t have a whole lot to do. However, like I said, the good news is that I’m starting to feel much better and productive! I think forming a routine and sticking to it in the upcoming week will help to boost my energy and motivation as well. To make myself feel better, I’ve also been doing my makeup every day, even though I don’t have anywhere to go. I always feel so much happier after I put on a full face of makeup; what about you guys?

Anyway, I’m going to drink a cup of black coffee (even though it’s 5pm, hahaha), and try to get some homework done. Thanks for reading and keeping up with my daily life! I hope you’re all staying safe and healthy, despite the unfortunate circumstances.

I’m not sure how interesting this will be to you guys, but personally, this is exactly the type of content I am here for. As a vegetarian, I occasionally get questions about what I eat in a day on a small college campus, so hopefully this article will answer some of those questions for you. Let’s get into it!


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8:30am- Egg sandwich. I’m usually not too hungry in the morning, but because my PMDD is starting to kick in this week, I definitely wanted to eat something filling before my internship. I enjoy eating eggs in the morning because they’re filling, delicious, and a great source of vegetarian protein, so that’s what I did today! Obviously, it’s not the healthiest thing I could eat, but I wouldn’t say it’s the worst, either. 


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10am- Black coffee, 12oz. Every single day, I have a cup of coffee within a couple of hours of waking up. I’ve reached the point in my life where I need to have coffee, or else I experience intense withdrawals, so it’s definitely something I look forward to every morning. I actually really enjoy drinking my coffee black as well, so that’s what I’m doing today. 


12pm- Peanut butter banana Clif bar. I’ve mentioned Clif bars a lot in my articles about snacks-on-the-go, and that’s because I love them and eat them all the time on my busy days. Especially today, with PMDD trying to kick my ass, an extra boost of energy is just what I need right now. I love the combination of chocolate, peanut butter, and banana, but my personal favorite flavor for Clif bars is the cool mint variety.


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1pm- Raw broccoli, carrots, and waffle fries. Because my internship provides lunch for us, I don’t have to pack a bagged lunch when I come to work! This is incredibly convenient for me, because I have zero money, and I also genuinely like the food options. As I’ve said before, I’m crazy for raw broccoli, so I try to eat that every day. Sometimes my work has tofu or rice, but today the only vegetarian entree was waffle fries. Nonetheless, I made sure I got in my veggies.


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6pm- Raw broccoli, corn, and Beyond Sausage. Incredibly, my dining hall has started serving Beyond burgers and sausage, so of course I’m going to opt for that when I need some protein. Per usual, I’m having more raw broccoli, because I’m absolutely obsessed with it and it’s another great source of plant protein. I would say this was a pretty well-rounded dinner for a college student.


8pm- A singular churro. I ended up going out with my friends tonight, so of course I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to spend my money on food I don’t need. Obviously it’s not the healthiest option on the planet, but it was delicious, and churros are currently my favorite dessert. 


Anywho, I hope you guys enjoyed this article! Let me know if you’d like to see more lifestyle content from me, because I love writing these types of articles. Did anything that I eat surprise you? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

7:40am: Most weekdays, I wake up sometime between 7am and 7:40am. Today, I was able to sleep in until the latter time because it’s Thursday and my internship doesn’t start until 10am. The first thing I do when I wake up is shut my window, because I usually prefer to sleep with it open (until I wake up freezing!). Then, I get up, wash my face, brush my teeth, and do all those general hygiene things. Because I shower at night, I don’t have to spend time on that in the morning.

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That early-morning train life.

Surprisingly, I am able to get up relatively quickly without feeling groggy or tired. This is probably because I used to suffer from severe insomnia, and now that I’m getting 7-8 hours of sleep per night, my body is SO happy to get up in the morning feeling rested and grateful. Anyway, after I get dressed and do all my bathroom stuff, I will usually put on a quick face of makeup. I love making time to put on a full face of makeup in the morning, because it really feels like “me time” and it helps me to relax. This morning, I listened to “The Vanished” podcast while I got ready.

8:40am: A little before 9am, I walk to my college’s closest shuttle stop so I can get to the train station for work. The train isn’t too far from my dorm, but while the weather is still cold and slushy, I definitely prefer to take the shuttle instead of taking the walk. I haven’t eaten breakfast yet because I’m not really hungry when I first wake up, so I had some orange juice instead while I waited for the train. My train commute is about 30 minutes or so, and then I walk an additional 15 minutes to get to my work.

9:45am: I usually get to work about fifteen minutes before my shift starts so I can make myself a cup of coffee and wake up slowly for the day. As many of you probably know, I prefer to drink my coffee hot and black, and I also had a CLIF bar for breakfast. Now that I’m settled into work, I’m ready for all of the meetings, marketing projects, and writing assignments coming my way!

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1:00pm: I have my lunch break at 1pm. Because I work in a building that is also a school, we get free lunch every day at the cafeteria! Today I’m eating sesame tofu, mixed grilled veggies, and raw broccoli for lunch. Raw broccoli is my favorite vegetable, so I tend to eat it A LOT throughout the week. I had a great conversation with my co-workers about queer theory as well, so that was really awesome. 

4:00pm: I wrap up my work for the day at 4:00pm on the dot, so that I can book it back to my university before the sun goes down. I always love my commute home for some reason; obviously leaving work is a nice weight off one’s shoulders, but for me, I also find the walk at sunset extremely calming and reflective. I definitely associate this walk with good energy.

6:30pm: Depending on the day, I’ll eat dinner between 5:30 and 6:30. Today, as you can see, I went a bit later than usual so that I could eat with my friend Arria. My dinner tonight was definitely not well-balanced; I had a handful of raw cauliflower and half a slice of pizza. Nonetheless, I was happy to catch up with my friends, socialize, and share gossip with each other. 

7:30pm: I don’t actually have any homework due tomorrow, so I’m able to relax and leisure for the rest of the night. Sometimes I’ll go over to my friends’ dorms to hang out for the evening, but tonight my social battery was low and all I wanted to do was watch Netflix in bed. I also take my nightly shower sometime between 7pm-9pm, so that my hair can air dry while I’m sleeping.

11:30pm: I take all of my medications and supplements around 11pm or so, including my melatonin and unisom, so that I can fall asleep instantly by around 11:30 or so. I’m definitely a night owl, but my rest is very important to me. I like to have audio on while I’m falling asleep, and lately, I’ve been listening to Poppen Atelier doll repaint videos. Goodnight, everybody!