Monday, May 4

I’m feeling much more settled now that my internet is set up, my apartment is unpacked, and I’m on top of my homework again. My apartment is already starting to feel homey and familiar, though of course, it’s going to be a long time before it really feels like home. I also don’t know how long I’m actually going to be living here. My lease runs until the last day of July 2021, but if Buck and I decide to move in sooner, I might end up moving out and subletting. But I don’t have to worry about that right now.

My favorite part of living on my own has been buying my own groceries and meal prepping my food (though I die inside every time I swipe my card, because even just buying the essentials is so expensive when you don’t have a job.) This week, I made overnight oats in mason jars, which has been absolutely delicious for breakfast. I also made strawberry poppy-seed salads and tofurkey wraps, which go great together. Tonight for dinner I’m either going to make ‘breakfast for dinner’ (with eggs and veggie bacon,) or I’m going to make spaghetti with veggie ‘beef’ crumble. I have a list of pinterest recipes I’d like to try, but until I find a job, I’m probably going to be living off pasta and bread for a while.

This is also basically my last week of college, and that’s kind of terrifying. I don’t like the feeling of not having anything to do- I love being busy! So I’m trying to occupy my time with lots of crafting, writing, and reading. Like I said last week, I’m trying to burn through the entire Sammy Keyes mystery series again. I’m currently averaging about one book a day, and I’ll be sure to update you on my streak. 


Thursday, May 7

Now that I am mostly settled into my apartment, it is feeling much more cozy and homey to me. I’m also getting used to the noises of Boston: light rails going by every 5-7 minutes, garbage trucks, sirens, and just the general hum of the city. This week is essentially my last week of college, so I’ve been busy with wrapping up assignments and taking final exams (online, of course.) I’ve also been applying to jobs almost every day, and in my free time (which I have a lot of,) I have been painting, writing, and making books. I’ll insert a picture of my most recent photo album I made here! I’ve also been tidying and cleaning a lot, because I actually quite enjoy doing that when I have nothing else productive to do.

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My mission to burn through the Sammy Keyes series is still going strong; I’m on book five right now and I’d like to finish it by tonight. It’s weird not having anywhere to be or get up in the morning for, so books have been an enormous comfort and a great way to pass the time. 

I miss college, my friends, my professors, and even the gross dining hall food. I still don’t have any information about how my graduation is going to take place, or when the school is planning on holding it. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see; as long as it’s not virtual, I don’t mind waiting around for months if I have to. I am a first generation college student, and it’s been a daydream of mine for years to walk across that graduation stage.

Sunday, March 8

I have to say, I’m loving the fact that it’s starting to stay lighter out for longer and the weather is starting to freshen up as well. I had a pretty productive weekend, I would say. I wrote a couple papers, revised my big, important ethics paper, and even had time to play The Sims for hours and hang out with my friends. Last night, I listened to some music and painted glass bottles with my good friend, Alanis, and I have to say that I love the way it came out! The Kiss by Gustav Klimt is one of my all-time favorite paintings, so I knew I wanted to incorporate it onto my bottle. I feel very proud of it, and I hope I can keep it and cherish it forever.

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The night before last, I hung out with Buck and my friends, Kelsey and Cameron. We ended up playing cards for at least a couple hours, which I’ve recently discovered I have a love for. Apparently, I’m not very good at Egyptian Rat Screw and Bullshit, but Kelsey and Buck are. We also played Crazy Eights, which seemed to drag on forever because none of us could win!

So anyway, it’s been a really lovely weekend, and I feel very well-rested as well. It’s a bit after seven in the evening right now, and I’m currently sitting in an empty classroom listening to The Beach Boys. Buck will be out of work in a couple hours, and we’ll probably sit on the roof (and not kick off the moss) for awhile and listen to the Grateful Dead or John Denver, or something along those lines. He’ll probably drink some whiskey, which makes him taste like brown sugar, and I’ll probably drink some Earl Gray tea. And per usual, I’m sure it will be lovely to fall asleep next to him with the window still open.


Monday, March 9

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It’s absolutely gorgeous out today, so I’m spending the afternoon at the beach with my good friend, Erin. Apparently it’s supposed to snow on Wednesday, but I have no idea how that would even be possible, considering it’s currently seventy degrees out. I must say, even though I’m not a big fan of the warm weather, it does feel good to wear shorts and stretch out in the sand. I probably should have been working on my ethics paper draft, but oh well, that can be done later.

I hope you’re all staying safe and healthy out there, wherever you are in the world. The coronavirus is scary, especially to hypochondriacs like me, so make sure you continue to wash your hands and take care of yourself!


Tuesday, March 10

It’s another day of beautiful weather here in Massachusetts, and I’m in pretty high spirits, even though I’m quite tired. Daylight Savings Time has really thrown me off! That being said, I’m loving the fact that the sun is staying out longer, and the days seem to stretch out much more now. I finally finished the final draft of my ethics paper, which is a huge weight off my shoulders. I know I’ve probably sounded like a broken record, complaining about it every night this week! I’m a bit nervous because I need to pass this paper to pass the entire class, but I’m pretty sure I will be fine. It’s just the notion that my entire degree depends on this paper that freaks me out and makes me doubt myself. 

I’m really looking forward to going home Saturday morning, particularly since it’s my father’s birthday and I finally feel ready to see him again. We have a complicated relationship, but I have an optimistic feeling that everything will go well and we might be able to start rebuilding things. I’m also very excited to see my dog, of course, who I haven’t seen since winter break and I miss terribly. And, perhaps most excitingly, Buck is coming to visit me for 2-3 days towards the end of winter break! We’ve been inseparable since we got together, so those first few days without him are going to be so hard for me. Oh, to be young and in love. 


Wednesday, March 11

Good morning, everyone! I hope you’re all staying happy and healthy this week. On the topic of health, the coronavirus hubbub is now front and center in Boston, and there’s certainly a lot of gossip going around. My school has not formally announced any closings, but I suppose it’s very possible they could ask us to stay home after spring break next week. Because nothing is set in stone, I’m trying not to think too much about it, but it’s still an interesting possibility. For one thing, it would suck to be away from my friends and my boyfriend. Secondly, if the school shut down and moved to online classes, I have no idea what would happen with my internship. Would I start working remotely for that as well? Thirdly, what happens to financial aid? Do I still have to pay for room and board even if I’m not on campus? It’s a complicated subject, and I’m not sure what will happen. At the same time, it’s kind of exciting to witness all of this. I guess we’ll see what happens!

Anyway, I’m in my 8am right now, and I have two more classes left after this. I might take a nap after my last class, because Daylights Saving Time is still throwing me off a bit and I’m exhausted. I’m also planning on hanging out with Erin and Buck tonight, so we’ll see how I’m feeling this evening. 


Thursday, March 12

What a strange time to be alive and documenting my life on the internet. 

With the obviously overwhelming coronavirus panic now taking over Boston, I’ve been forced to think a lot about the possibility that my school may close after spring break, which would be (in my opinion) wildly unfortunate and an overreaction to the situation. I’m going to publish an article on Analog next week to explore that topic more deeply for anyone who’s interested.

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I’m also quite stressed over applying for jobs, because many of the jobs I’m inquiring for have hundreds of applicants. If I can’t find a job, I can’t get an apartment, and I’m supposed to do that in June. Also, one of my potential housemates is dropping out because she can’t afford to move. Also, my mom is moving two states away in June and I’m not going to have anywhere to live after she moves. Also, my internship is probably shutting down next week as well. 

So yeah, I’m a bit stressed by the enormity of the crazy world around me right now. Last night, I essentially had a mental breakdown in the library and cried on my laptop, because I just don’t see how any of this is going to pan out and fix itself within the next three months. Even more, I don’t even know where to begin. I can’t move into an apartment without a credit score/cosign or a gross household income, which I don’t have due to a lack of a job. I might not even have my friends and my boyfriend around me during this time, if my college decides to pull the plug and shut its doors. Oh, what a time to be alive.

I almost feel like I have to laugh at the absurdity of everything. My goals today are to apply to two more jobs, decide what day I’m going home for spring break, decide if I want to tour the apartment that I have my eye on (but probably can’t afford because my housemates are dropping like flies), and desperately attempt to find a new roommate. Everything else in my life (minus my friends and Buck) just feels so unimportant right now. I hardly even care about my schoolwork right now, because I’m so bent out of shape about all of this.

Anyway, I don’t want to sound like I’m throwing a pity party. At least I am healthy and safe, and I have a strong support system around me. I just hate having things pan out undecided and up in the air, if that makes sense. It especially stresses me out not knowing where I’m even going to be living in three months, or where my income will come from.

The first thing I’m going to do when I get home for break this weekend is take a bubble bath, pour myself a drink, and binge out on The Office. Honestly, it’s what I deserve. 


Friday, March 13

Hi everyone!

As you can probably imagine, shit is going down over here in ole Massachusetts. My university has extended its spring break by an extra week, and then, all of our classes are going to resume online. Despite this, our residence halls and services are staying open for the rest of the semester to those who wish to stay, and everyone else is allowed to go home. As for graduation and all of that, nobody has any answers or ideas about what will happen. Also, we’re technically not supposed to be within six feet of each other at school, and we can’t have any guests or other students in our dormitories. I’ll honor that expectation with my friends, but my boyfriend? Yeah, that six feet rule is gonna be a no from me dawg. My college can take away my classes, my graduation, my internship, my activities, and my clubs, but I refuse to cut myself off from my closest support system during this crisis of my life. And that’s the tea, sis. 

Anyway, I’m going to tour an apartment tomorrow with my friend, and then my mom is coming to pick me up from school first thing on Sunday morning. As you can probably imagine, I’m really looking forward to relaxing during spring break and trying not to think about my university fiasco. This is definitely not the way I want to be spending my final year of college, but hey, I just have to make the best of it. At least I’ll still be able to come back to campus after spring break and see most of my close friends to finish off what has been a sufficiently chaotic school year. Of course, even that’s subject to change if things get worse. My fingers are crossed.

Tuesday, March 3

It’s officially March, and it’s even starting to feel a bit like springtime. Today in particular was absolutely gorgeous; I love feeling the breeze on my back and the golden sun on my neck. I took a little walk around the neighborhood with Buck, and we had such a lovely time holding hands and hopping puddles together. These are such sweet days. 

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Anyway, right now we’re at the library, sitting across from each other and touching shoes. I’m working on blog things, now that my homework is done for today; specifically an upcoming analysis of Regina Spektor’s 2017 album Remember Us to Life. I love analyzing her albums enormously, but they are some of the most time-consuming articles for me to write. Nonetheless, I enjoy challenging myself with content that’s both engaging and thoughtful. Tomorrow I have three back-to-back classes, so hopefully I’ll find a little bit of time to get blogging done! 


Wednesday, March 4

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Hi all, I hope you’re doing well. It’s a bit past 1pm right now, and I’m sitting in the library getting some work done. I have to make some revisions to my ethics paper, then I have to start working on a business essay, and then I’m going to squeeze in some creative writing. I don’t know if anybody else also feels this way, but I can’t enjoy my recreational activities if I know I still have homework that needs to be finished. I suppose this is a good thing, because it motivates me to get all of my work done and keep my evenings free.

I’m feeling pretty good today, although I don’t have much makeup on my face, and I probably look exhausted and saggy-faced. I’m usually quite sleepy in the mornings and afternoons, and by evening time, I’m wide awake and feeling creative. I assume that’s probably what will happen tonight; I do indeed have some external writing projects that I’m really eager to work on! I’ve also been very into writing poetry lately, so hopefully I can find some time for that as well. 

Anyway, things obviously aren’t very eventful this week. I apologize for the boring newsletter (albeit, I enjoy things being boring and placid, rather than shit hitting the fan.) 


Thursday, March 5

We’re over the hump of the week, and I, for one, am really looking forward to the weekend. I don’t know why, but I’m absolutely exhausted today! I got decent sleep, between 7-7.5 hours, so I’m not sure what is making me so tired. I’ll continue to go back and forth chugging cold water and coffee to see if that helps.

Both of my classes are cancelled tomorrow, so 1) I’m definitely going to sleep in, and 2) I’m going to try to get another draft of my next Analog article done. I’m interviewing a professor at my university, so that should be interesting!

Anyway, I only have one more week until spring break starts. I’m not planning on traveling or doing anything exciting, but it should be wonderful to see my mother and stepfather. I’m also planning on visiting my father, who I haven’t seen since last August. I’m a bit apprehensive, but looking forward to it nonetheless. Also, Buck and I have been thinking about visiting the Little Women Orchard House, so I’ll be sure to take pictures of that if we end up booking a tour! Exciting things ahead. 

 

Tuesday, February 25

It’s about 11 in the morning right now, and I’ve been at work for about an hour and a half. I do have some internship work to get done today, but I’m here until 4pm and I can spare a bit of time to write.

I’ve been in a great place lately, socially, emotionally, and physically. I feel like my relationships with my friends are really strong and healthy, and I’m taking good care of my body. I’m still sleeping decently as well, especially now that I usually wake up next to someone I love (oops, cat’s out of the bag, I have a boyfriend now). 

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So anyway, things in my life are going very well. The weather has been fantastic too, so I’ve been spending more time outside, going for walks and doing my homework in the grass. I’m especially looking forward to spring break in a couple of weeks, and then my 21st birthday on April 12, and then…I graduate in May?? Jesus, it’s sneaking up on me. Time goes by too quickly!

Anyway, I don’t have much else to report, besides the fact that I’m still making very little (hardly any) money, and I need to be able to afford the train, food, and basic toiletries every week. It’s going to be such a wonderful change of pace to have an actual salary by this fall. Sigh. 


Wednesday, February 26

Hi everyone, I hope you’re all having a great week! I’m feeling pretty good at the moment, albeit groggy. I’m usually not a big fan of naps, but today I was exhausted after my three powerpoint presentations and I decided to get a little bit of shut-eye. I don’t know what I thought would happen, but I woke up sweaty and disoriented after some stressful dreams. Needless to say, it kind of threw me off, so I’m trying to re-center myself by being social and getting work done in the library. Even though I am definitely introverted, I still enjoy hanging out and doing homework surrounded by the static company of people.

I have to say, I’m really proud of the work I did today! Even though I typically get pretty bad anxiety surrounding presentations and public speaking, I felt completely calm and grounded today. I didn’t even need to take an Ativan, which I originally assumed I would. Somehow, I managed to stay calm and cool throughout all my presentations, and I’m definitely giving myself a pat on the back for that. It feels great to make progress in a positive direction. 

I’m looking forward to tomorrow; Buck and I have both been a bit busy lately, and we miss each other. He’s been spending a lot of nights next to me, and it feels so lovely to wake up next to him, with bits of hair falling in his face and the sunlight on his back. It fills me with gratitude to know he’s there, and I feel like he came into my life at the perfect time. Some people say their partners complete them, but for me, I already felt whole and complete when I met Buck; he’s just a beautiful addition to everything. 

(I don’t think he’s reading this, but if he is: Hi B, I love you!)


Friday, February 28

Hi all, hope you’re doing great! I’ve had a pretty normal day, if not a bit frazzled. I normally never miss classes because I hate falling behind, but today I decided to skip my 8am class (and subsequently received a passive aggressive email from my professor).

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Anyway, I’m currently hanging out with one of my best friends and getting some homework done. I’ve been feeling much more social this semester than I was last year, and I’m really happy that I’ve been able to form some lasting friendships. I used to have a really hard time making friends, so I definitely feel like my life has changed in that department.

I’m also going to drop off some clothes at a thrift store so I can make some extra cash, as my internship is unpaid and the train fares do pile up after a while. If you guys have any other tips for how to make extra cash, let me know in the comments!

Tuesday, February 4

Good morning, everybody! Even though I had to be up quite early today, I’m feeling pretty energized and good about my day. I know I said this before, but I actually really enjoy getting up early four days a week. It makes the days feel longer and more meaningful, in a way.

Right now I’m drinking my morning coffee and trying to warm up for the day. I am at my internship from 10-4, and then I’m going to get dinner with my friend Allison at 5:30. It should be a pretty uneventful day. After dinner I’m going to get some homework done, and then I’d like to take an evening walk around my campus. I know some people would be spooked by the prospect of going for a walk around their campus at night, but I actually rather like it. I live in a safe area, and it makes me happy to engage with nature and spend some quality time with myself. 


Wednesday, February 5

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Right now, it’s about 10am and I’m sitting in the campus center. I normally have a class at 9:30, but for some fortunate reason, it was cancelled today. I’m certainly not complaining! Having three back-to-back classes really wears you down.

I’m currently listening to a pretty wide mixture of music, ranging from Michael Nyman’s intense contemporary instrumentals to more light-hearted songs like Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet. I’ve completed and scheduled two posts for the blog, which is fantastic, and I finished all my homework for the week, so I don’t really have anything I need to be working on. 


Thursday, February 6

Wow, this week is flying by. I’ve been keeping busy per usual, juggling my blog, Analog, my internship, my classes, and still finding time for sleep and socialization. I would say things have been pretty placid and harmonized lately- in my professional/academic life, at least. In my personal life, I’m going through typical uphill battles that most young women go through in their lives; feeling like someone is playing games with me, taking advantage of me, etc. Valentine’s Day being in February is a pretty overwhelming reminder that I’m single yet another year. I’d like to find someone to share my life with, but I’m also conscious of the fact that things will fall into place when they’re meant to. I have feelings for a couple of people right now, a boy and a girl (living that bisexual life), and one of them is blowing me off while the other one is being fair and invested in me. Hopefully, one of them will pan out, but honestly, who knows what will happen?

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The other day, I was watching a YouTube video by MissRemiAshten titled “What I spend in a Week as a 24 Year-Old.” Now, I’m not a vlogger, a 24-year old, nor do I live in Los Angeles. In fact, Remi and I are basically on opposite ends of the spectrum. I live in a college house on the outskirts of Boston, I make about $10 per week, at most, and I expenses upwards of $20-$30 usually give me a headache. That being said, I don’t pay any bills because I live on campus, so I can take that out of the equation. Here are some other quick facts about my lifestyle before I get into the blog:

-I don’t have a car, so I don’t put in any weekly money for gas. However, I do have to rely on public transit to get to work, which is a weekly expense for me.

-I have campus “dining dollars” that are pre-paid as a part of my tuition, so I’m not going to include dining dollars or meal plans as part of my weekly expenses.

-I pay for two subscriptions, Amazon Prime and Spotify Premium, which are taken out of my account once monthly. I also have a Fab Fit Fun subscription, but that is only billed quarterly. 

If I think of any other important information, I’ll edit it here. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into it!


SUNDAY

I didn’t leave campus today, and I ate all of my meals at the dining hall, so I didn’t end up spending any money. Unless I’m going out with my friends, I usually don’t have any reason to spend money on the weekends, so this was a pretty typical day for me. 

Daily Total: $0


MONDAY

Today is my monthly Analog meeting, so I bought some snacks at Walgreen’s with Lily for a total of $7.75. It was a bit more expensive than I would have liked, but it was still much cheaper than buying a pizza, which was my original plan. Per usual, I ate all my meals on campus so I didn’t have to worry about buying food or drink for any other purpose.

Daily Total: $7.75


TUESDAY

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My train fare from campus to work is $2.40, so round-trip, $4.80. I also stopped at Tatte Bakery to buy a caramel latte, because I had an hour to kill before work and I wanted to stop somewhere to get some blogging done. My small latte cost $4.65 (gasp), but it was delicious. I ate breakfast at Lasell and brought lunch from home, so I didn’t have to pay for any other food or drink today. 

Daily Total: $9.45


WEDNESDAY

Today I had three back-to-back classes on campus, and I only ate at the dining hall, so I didn’t spend any money today!

Daily Total: $0


THURSDAY

Train fare for work is $4.80 round trip. I also made my morning coffee at work, so that was free! I’m also lucky enough that my place of employment provides lunch for us, so I always have access to that for free as well. 

Daily Total: $4.80


FRIDAY

Today I only had one class, and I used meal swipes and dining dollars for all my meals/coffee. I did have to pick up a couple of toiletries at the campus store today, and my total was $6.48 on my card.

Daily Total: $6.48


SATURDAY

I was going to go out today, but I ended up feeling like shit and stayed home in my room instead. It ended up being a good choice, because I think my body and my mind really needed to rest after the crazy week I had. And, of course, it’s always a good idea for me to save my money.

Daily Total: $0


WEEKLY TOTAL: $22

I have to say, I’m pretty impressed with the fact that I lived off $22 this week! Obviously my housing and food is paid for as part of my tuition, but I still think I did a decent job managing my other expenses. The only “frivolous” I would say I made would be the coffee from Tatte, but hey, it was pretty delicious. In the future, I’ll probably continue to bring food and coffee from home so I can continue to cut unnecessary costs. 

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In step with last year, I’m going to be recording my New Year’s resolutions here on the blog so I can keep track of my progress. I’m going to divide this into physical, mental, social, and career goals, because I think it’s a good idea to have a well-rounded group of all four. I am pretty happy with where I am now, but there’s always room for improvement! 


Physical

-Improve my sleep health and *try* to combat my insomnia

-Get my driver’s license. Does that count as physical?

-Try to go to the gym more often

-Watch every single Bill Murray movie this year


Mental

-Give myself more credit and appreciation for the hard work I do

-Take more days off when I need them for my health

-Completely forgive myself for my traumas


Social

-Have 300 followers on WordPress

-Have 100 followers on my Analog instagram

-Have 50 followers on Analog itself


Career

-Complete my spring internship

-Find a full-time job

-Find my first apartment!


I feel like 2020 is really going to be the year of adulting. I’m graduating college, which is a huge milestone, I’m preparing for my internship, and I’m going to have to start looking for my first apartment. It’s definitely a scary change, but I’m looking forward to what I can achieve! Let’s tackle this year together.

Monday, December 2

I’m back at school after a wonderful Thanksgiving break, but I won’t be here much longer! I’m technically on winter break December 14th, but I have to come back four days later to take ONE EXAM. I’m not really counting that as part of school, however, because I’ll already be moved out by then and the exam will only take about twenty-five minutes. Still, I’m a little annoyed to have to drive all the way back to school just to take one exam. 

I’m feeling pretty tired right now, even though I had my regular morning coffee. I might go ahead and make myself a tea, because I’m going to have a long day and I need to keep my energy levels up. Today is my first meeting for Analog, and even though half of the team can’t be there, I’m excited to lay down the groundwork for this organization!

It’s also snowing right now, which is beautiful to look at from my window (but less fun to walk in). Two of my classes were cancelled due to the snow, so I’m taking this opportunity to tackle some school work due next week. It seems surreal I have less than two weeks left in the semester!

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Friday, December 6

So, I’ve definitely slacked a bit on my catch-up this week, but in my defense, I have been very busy. I’ve been essentially glued to my computer trying to get work done, so thankfully, I’ve reached the end of a very productive week! Between working on Analog, securing my capstone, chatting with potential employers, and knocking out tons of presentations, it’s definitely been chaotic around here. I’m looking forward to simply relaxing and playing The Sims 4 this weekend.

Next week is my final week of classes, and I’m looking forward to coming home and sleeping in my own bed next Friday. I’ve also made plans to see some of my high school friends over winter break, so I’m really excited about that. Per usual, it will be a pleasure to see Eli as well.

I’m going to try to get some blogging done this week, because I’m falling a bit behind on that, but it’s important to me that I don’t overwork myself. Especially since I have such severe sleep problems, making time for relaxation is very important to me. Tonight I’m going to go watch a talent show with one of my classmates, then I might swing over to my friend’s resident hall to keep her company while she’s on RA duty.

I’ve been in college for three years now, and during that time, I’ve had to learn how to navigate my food spending habits through trial and error. I’m very fortunate to have come from a family of home-cooked meals and groceries bought for me, so I never really had to think about money management until I got to college and started living more independently. If that sounds like you, then you’ve come to the right place!

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Photo by Element5 Digital on Pexels.com

The first thing I’m going to talk about is saving money on food delivery and social eating; then I’ll give you some of my tips for actual grocery shopping. If you’re a college student in a suburban area, you’re probably familiar with delivery apps such as Grubhub, Postmates, UberEats, and DoorDash. I personally visit these apps often, because I live in a great area where lots of amazing restaurants can deliver right to my door. There’s only so much dining hall food you can have before your tastebuds demand something a little more flavorful. 

I try to keep my delivery habits limited to one order a week, but this month in particular, I’m trying to avoid spending any money on delivery. It does get extremely expensive! One of the best pieces of advice I can offer to you is to do the same and try to limit the amount of food delivery you order in college. It can be tempting to go overboard, but those delivery fees are expensive and you’ll drain your wallet in no time.

However, there are ways to get around the excessive fees and cut your bills, especially if you’re a new member. Most delivery apps will offer a discount code, or some other incentive to first-time users of the service. Additionally, apps like UberEats and DoorDash will actually reward you for referring other people! Every time a friend signs up for DoorDash through me, I get a $10 credit added to my account, which is really helpful. Another helpful tip to build up delivery credit is to scour coupon websites like RetailMeNot and Coupons.com to see if there are any codes you can snatch up, especially  around Black Friday and the holiday season.

Now, moving into groceries. My number one tip for saving money on produce is to shop in season, because it’s generally cheaper and better for the environment. Shopping in season will also allow you to incorporate a variety of fruits and veggies into your diet, because each season brings a variety of delicious produce to try. I’ve published various produce guides before on my blog, along with recipes to try using what’s in season, so make sure you check those out!

Another helpful grocery tip is to buy the “ugly” produce, which is usually cheaper but exactly the same in nutritional values. Think things like ulta-ripe bananas, bruised fruits, and mutated-looking vegetables. Dented cans are also usually cheaper than the untouched variety, even though the contents are exactly the same. It’s little things like this that can make a difference in your spending habits, without having an impact on the quality of the food you eat. Try looking in the sale section or clearance section of your grocery store to see what “ugly” items are currently on sale.

Lastly, buying in bulk is a great way to utilize groceries. Yeah, you can get a twenty-pack of instant ramen for super cheap, but there’s other options, too. I love to buy granola/protein bars in bulk, such as Clif bars, along with things like fruit snacks, crackers, and yes, the occasional cup noodles. You don’t have to buy everything in bulk, but if you’re going to go through a particular snack quickly anyway, why not?

Anyway, those are my tips for saving money on food, especially for those of you who are also in college! I hope you find these ideas helpful, and if you have ideas of your own, drop them down below so I can read them. 

Monday, November 11

Today is Veteran’s Day, which means no classes. I am grateful for the three-day weekend, because my anxiety is still in rough shape and I’m in no condition to be in class as it is. I’ve talked about this odd panic spell I’m in a little bit, but I’ll give you the full story in case you’re confused/out of the loop.

About two weeks ago, I started to have some problems sleeping. I didn’t particularly feel super anxious at the time, but I was restless and frustrated with the insomnia. Then, throughout the rest of the week (probably due to sleep deprivation) I started to feel really…wonky. Crying, panicky, nervous, irritated, generally just “off” and “disconnected.” These are all very common symptoms of PMDD and GAD, so I was familiar with the feeling and tried to remind myself I’d be feeling back to normal soon.

I felt briefly fine when I went home for four days so I could completely recuperate, but it was basically hell again when I got back to school that weekend. Slowly, day by day, my anxiety would just sink worse and worse, my crying would intensify, and my overall feeling of “offness” and dread was seriously starting to interfere. These past few nights, I’ve been running on 4-5 hours of sleep, usually interrupted by horrific anxiety attacks, nausea, and even painful legs. It’s hard to get rest when your legs are killing you every night and you’re throwing up into your trashcan, all because of anxiety.

I’d like to make a very resounding note that this is anxiety, NOT depression. I’m not feeling emotionally distraught or hopeless or anything dangerous- I’m just extremely anxious and, as a result, unstabilized. With that being said, I’m not in any kind of danger (or a danger to anyone else), and I am trying my very best to take constructive steps in the right direction. This particular weekend has been a bit rough in particular- I was essentially bedbound today- but now I’m feeling a bit stronger and willing myself to set healthy goals for myself.

The first thing I did was reach out to my college’s counseling program to set up a therapy appointment. Even though my body seems to be having a physical panic reaction that a therapist likely can’t fix, I still think it will be helpful to talk to one and learn some insight. So I’m looking forward to that. 

I’ve also resumed taking escitalopram, or Lexapro, at 10mg per day. The medication may take a while to kick in, but I should be feeling at least a little less edgy by the end of the week. I also have my Ativan prescription, which I am utilizing in the absolute most panic emergencies.

Furthermore, I’ve been spending a lot of time with my friends and loved ones to have an extra source of support and reassurance. My mom has been an absolute angel, bringing my medicines and listening to me vent and cry. Eli and Lily, my good friends, have given me so much comfort and great advice! One thing in particular I love Eli said was along the lines of this: “You should not feel guilty about reaching out for help, so don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself.”

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By the way, I dyed my hair blonde!

Eli is absolutely right. I have to advocate for myself and my health, because no one else will. I am going to set a concrete goal to go to all of my classes this week, register for my spring courses, and meeting all of my important academic commitments. Right now, that’s my biggest goal- just to get through the week academically.

I’ve already broadcasted to my friends via social media that my anxiety and panic is basically holding me hostage this week, and I’m going to need some extra space and distance to keep myself in check (unless I reach out to them first, such as Eli or Lily). I’m usually happy to help people with their problems and listen to them vent, but right now, I need to detach from that and spend some time taking care of me.

The past two weeks have been some of the hardest of my life, purely because of my anxiety. Like I said, I am not depressed or in a dangerous place- I’m just literally hinged and bedbound by my extremely intense panic. I don’t know why my anxiety has suddenly sparked to badly, but I’m going to do my very best to be strong. With any hurdle in life, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and I know this anxiety spell will pass soon!

 


Tuesday, November 12

It’s currently mid afternoon, and all of my classes are finished for the day. I wanted to jot down some quick updates about my anxiety, and how I’m holding up now that classes have resumed.

In general, I’m doing pretty okay right now. My anxiety is still higher than usual, but it’s not bad enough that I’m crying, bedbound, and throwing up. So I’d say that’s definitely an improvement. I can also go a few minutes without thinking about my anxiety, so I’m proud of that. 

In regards to sleep patterns, I’m still in a pretty tedious place. I felt pretty calm when I fell asleep last night, because I called my mom and I had Ativan in my system. I had some severe anxiety around 2am, but it wasn’t bad enough that I threw up or had to call someone. I sort of just waited it out, and distracted myself for a couple hours, and I was asleep around 4pm. So I’m not sure if that’s progress, but it’s definitely not a degression!

I’m hoping I’ll start to notice some positive effects from the Lexapro within the next couple of weeks. I know it takes a while to work, but I should start to feel relief from the edge soon. Tonight I’m going to work on a class project with a friend, then I’m going to take the rest of the afternoon to relax, light a candle, and focus on keeping my panic down. Updates to come.


Wednesday, November 13

I’m in relatively good spirits, albeit my insomnia was awful last night and I didn’t sleep at all. That being said, my anxiety is pretty high so I’m running on pure adrenaline, and I’m not sleepy at all. So, that’s good I guess?

Last night was actually very lovely, and I even made some new friends! (And my existing friends took very good care of me). I decided to go to my university’s pride club, and I had a really lovely time partaking in the discussions and meeting new people. I’ll definitely be attending more meetings in the future!

Anywho, today is going to be a bit busier than usual. I have three classes today, then a study group, then a house meeting. After that, I’m hoping I can find some anxiety relief and get a few hours of sleep. I’m looking forward to this weekend, because I’m going home to spend some time with my mom and stepfather. They take such amazing care of me, especially in hard times such as now.


Saturday, November 16

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I admittedly forgot to write Thursday, and yesterday I was busy travelling home, but now I have (finally) found the time to sit down and get some work done! I’m happy to report that I’m in very good spirits, and since I’ve been home, I’ve hardly had any anxiety. I’m even starting to feel sleepy, which is something I haven’t felt in a long time due to ongoing adrenaline.

Today I visited Mount Agamenticus in Maine with my family, with was really lovely. I’m not really a big hiker, but the fresh air felt good and I had a great time. It’s much later in the evening now, and like I said, I’m starting to feel veeery sleepy, so I hope I can get a good night’s sleep. I’m glad I decided to come home for a short break; it’s been so rejuvenating and rewarding to spend time with the people I love. I hope you all had a fun weekend, too!