Sunday, November 1

Hello! It’s November 1, and you know what that means. It’s CHRISTMAS!

Haha, just kidding. Maybe.

Speaking of Christmas, I have already completed a little bit of Christmas shopping. I bought Nathaniel a pair of Doc Martens and Dave’s Picks 20 (only Grateful Dead fans will know.) Next weekend I’m planning on going to TJ Maxx to pick out some candles, for both myself and some of my family. I’ve never met a person who didn’t like a candle for Christmas. A few days ago I bought a White Cedar candle from the brand Sand + Fog, and holy moly, I’m obsessed with it. It smells just like a Christmas Tree and I’ve already burned half of it.

Anyway, enough Christmas talk: let’s talk about Halloween! Obviously there were no giant crowds or crazy parties going on this year, but honestly, I’ve always been a homebody anyway. For Halloween this year, Nathaniel and I decided to be baristas, which is already our normal attire. All in all, a very easy and functional costume.

We also had a couple of our friends over (who get tested for COVID twice a week, might I add) and we basically just had a very low-key, good-vibes night. We ordered a pizza, ate tons of candy, and then, we played cards against humanity until I had the hiccups from laughing so hard. It was so nice to spend time with my favorite people, and I’m so glad we decided to link up. I think I really needed it after the exhausting week I had.

In terms of other eventful things this weekend, Nathaniel and I, per usual, spent a lot of time together. He slept over for three nights in a row, and while we mostly stayed in to do work and play video games, we did meander into the city once for some fancy ramen and a bookstore excursion. I wasn’t sure if he would like Wagamama or not, so I was really happy to hear him pronounce his love for it. We’ll definitely be back someday.

So I had a really lovely weekend, filled with lots of rest and good memories. I’ve already printed out so many of the pictures and pasted them into my junk journal, so mayhaps I’ll post a flip-through of my journal in the future. I’m back to work tomorrow, and then I think I’m going to go visit my dad back home next weekend (depending on if I can afford the train ticket.) I would like to visit my family more often, but right now, I’m not really making enough money to warrant constant trips back and forth on the commuter rail. Hopefully I’ll be able to pick up a better job in the near future, so that can change. 🙂

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Tuesday, October 29

Right now, I’m taking a break from working on my research paper to do something a little less intensive- blogging! I’m a self-proclaimed ambitious woman, and it’s my goal to have a ten-page literature review finished by the end of the night. I feel like I need to work harder than usual today to prove my productivity because I missed both of my classes today.

I actually HATE missing classes and feeling like I’m getting behind, but today was definitely a necessity. For whatever reason, though probably PMS/hormone related, I could not sleep a WINK last night. I quite literally just rolled around in bed, wide awake, and every time I checked my phone another hour had passed. I wasn’t even tired, and I’m still not feeling tired. I finally managed to sleep intermittedly on-and-off from 7am to 12:30pm, but that meant missing my 11am class and my 12:30pm class.

From my understanding, estrogen basically equates to energy in a woman’s body, and with PMS in full force I can imagine my hormones are literally off the walls right now. My skin is also breaking out worse than usual, and the acne is big and painful. I’m also feeling cramps and heightened anxiety, but those two things are generally normal.

So, yeah. I am currently in the midst of a bad month for PMDD, but I’m grateful that my mental health doesn’t seem to be much affected. Yes, having a bad sleep schedule for the past three nights is no fun, but I’d rather deal with this than feel completely dejected and sad. At least there’s coffee to treat a rough night’s sleep!

Anywho, I feel a bit better now that I’ve vented. I’m going to work on my literature review for a bit more, than take a break and binge watch Stranger Things in celebration of Halloween. I’m also going to order some dinner, because I feel like my tired ass is deserving of some comfort food, and then I’m going to try to will myself to go to the gym. Let’s hope the combination of working out, essential oils, and some light reading before bed is enough to get me asleep!


Thursday, October 31

Gosh, what a week it has been! So, I know I had high hopes that I would be able to sleep on Wednesday night, but it was unfortunately just another night of awful insomnia, profuse sweating, and a lot of tears. Pretty much every woman I have spoken to has confirmed it’s probably related to my cycle, so that does make me feel a bit better knowing it’s completely hormonal related and it will pass soon.

That being said, due to the lack of sleep due days in a row, I was an absolute mess on Wednesday. Dizzy, incoherent, crying every couple hours- I was definitely overtired and it was a mess. I decided the best thing to do would be to go home for a few days and have my mom take care of me, and see if being home could help me get some rest. Just the thought of having a repeat of the last two nights and worrying profusely about making it to class was sending me on a mental breakdown, so I decided it was time to stand back and really just focus on my health.

Well, good news! That ended up being exactly what I needed to get back on my feet. My mom brought me home, bless her, and we had lasagna and watched Coraline to celebrate the Halloween season. Then I had Motrin and an over-the-counter sleep aid, and boom…I was fast asleep for about twelve hours. I did wake up briefly around 4:30 because my menstrual cramps were atrocious, but all that took was an Ibuprofen and then I was out like a light again. 

Today I’m working extra hard to make up for all the classes I’m missing being home, but the workload is manageable (and I’m just so happy I was finally able to have a good night’s sleep). I definitely needed that mini break, and I’m so proud that I decided to take care of myself, because I genuinely do hate getting behind in school. I’ve already done a few critical assignments, and now I’m going to work on wrapping up the first draft of my senior research paper, which is due tomorrow by midnight. I’m also going to see Eli tomorrow, which is very exciting!

No, I don’t have any Halloween plans this year, but I’ll probably take a bubble bath, put on a scary movie, and hang out with my dog tonight. I’m not a big party person anyway, so I’m perfectly happy with that plan.


Friday, November 1

I’ve now slept fine two nights in a row, so I’m going to say my PMDD hell week is probably over, and my cycle should be back to normal now! I am SO happy I decided to give myself a break to come home and rest up. Ladies and gents, if you’re ever struggling, don’t be afraid to reach out and get some help. Self care is the most important thing you can do for yourself.

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I had a really awesome time with Eli this morning. We visited one of our favorite homestyle restaurants, which serves food similar to that of KFC. However, they do have a lot of vegetarian options (I’m just vegetarian now, no longer vegan), such as macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes. The macaroni and cheese, by the way, is AMAZING. I don’t know how they do it, but it’s only available at this one particular restaurant near my hometown. Needless to say, I ordered a pint of it.

Afterwards, we visited some cows on the side of the road, and gave the bulls some good scratchies. Then we finished off the afternoon by visiting a farm that is also located in our hometown. I always laugh so much when I spend time with Eli, because he’s such a naturally funny person to be around. I might see him tomorrow night too, if he comes to visit me at school. If not, I’ll see him next on Thanksgiving recession. 


Coming up this week:

11/4- The Story Time Tag

11/6- MASSIVE List of Product Empties + My Favorite Makeup in 2019!

11/8- The Relationship Between Anxiety & Fatigue