*Disclaimer: this is, like, ten pages, so I hope you brought your popcorn. Also, as you will hear me say again and again in this article, this is NOT intended to bash Julia or be received as any type of hate. She is naive in this situation, but clearly also a very compassionate person and I truly wish the best for her.*
I actually have a lot of admiration for so many elements of her personality. She is kind, creative, and a hopeless romantic, and (with the right direction) I truly feel like she has a lot to bring to the table. With the right choices, Julia Zelg could easily build a career as a successful musician and YouTuber. The reason I’m making this article is not to criticize her or beat her down- rather, I want to express my concerns for some red flags I have noticed in her videos lately (and so have many others- go check out the Pretty Ugly Little Liars thread on Julia Zelg if you’re completely in the dark).
Like I said, this post is coming from a place of kindness and concern, so let’s not beat Julia down or leave rude comments on the situation. I have noted on the PULL thread that while some people bring up very valid concerns, others are simply just making fun of her, degrading her, and body-shaming her wife. Any hateful comments made about Julia are unacceptable and will be deleted. Like I said, I do not think Julia is a bad person, but her actions of late have been questionable and arguably tasteless. And definitely a bit narcissistic, depending how you view her intentions.
Despite her downfalls, I actually think she’s a very sweet person. I had the chance to meet her in New York City, which is more or less when the drama around her and Eileen’s channels came to a head. From first-person experience, I can say she looked exhausted, emotionally depleted, small, and genuinely sad. I had known that there were a few minor red flags in the past, but I more or less brushed them off and just accepted that the dynamic of their relationship was kind of weird. Not because they’re gay- I don’t have a problem with that (I’m a lesbian myself). I wasn’t even really bothered by the age gap; they’re two consenting adults, so who cares? What kind of seemed weird to me was just the way Julia and Eileen interacted in videos, especially in videos together. It’s one thing to be affectionate, but Julia and Eileen are highly attached to each other and their channel has a “reality television” vibe to it. It’s obvious to many that Julia wants to be famous, and while she is successful on YouTube, she certainly is not a celebrity. I’ll explain a bit more on that later, but first, let me give you some of the backstory.
I started watching Julia’s channel about a year and a half ago, when she was still dating her ex-girlfriend, Maria. My initial thoughts were that this was a very surprising coupling of two people, because Julia, 25, prefers to date women in their 50s and 60s. I didn’t feel inclined to leave a hate comment like some people, because I didn’t (and still don’t) think she’s doing anything wrong by dating older women. If you’re both consenting adults and you’re happy, then who am I to stop you?
Julia and Maria eventually broke up, and about a month or two (more or less) later, Julia started seeing Eileen De Freest, a 61 year-old political pundit for BBC III. had been watching Julia’s channel for a while now and wasn’t surprised by this, and truly, I was even happy for her. I feel the need to reinforce that I don’t have a problem with the age gap, because I don’t think that’s what is inherently causing the relationship problems. Sure, it could definitely be a factor, but I do think it is possible to have healthy, age-gap relationships. As time went by, however, I began to think differently about Julia and Eileen’s dynamic. The first time I actually openly voiced a concern to one of my friends was about four months ago, when Eileen posted a public apology video to Julia (they were engaged by this time). I couldn’t exactly put my finger on what bothered me about the video, but I knew something didn’t feel right immediately. For one thing, it feels very odd to apologize to your fianceé in the form of a public video, which was also monetized (meaning Eileen and Julia profited off of the video). To each their own, I suppose, but it felt very strange to me that Julia and Eileen didn’t do this in private. In retrospect, it almost feels like Eileen and Julia are trying to desperately justify their relationship in this video, and purposefully reinforce that everything is FINE, just fine, and why would you dare think otherwise? It’s fine everybody!!
Eileen’s apology was centered around a previously-released video about an affair she had twenty-five years ago with another woman. Apparently, Julia edited the video and became upset/jealous listening to Eileen talk freely about this past relationship. Eileen gave us all the details about this ordeal- Julia crying, asking Eileen if she still loved her, Eileen gushily professing her love for Julia on camera, etc. It all felt a little…contrived. For views, maybe. Or, like I said, for public reinforcement that this relationship is so, so healthy and good! See, everybody? We handled this so well!
Wellllll, maybe you didn’t. First of all, let me just say I understand how Julia would be a little uncomfortable editing the video. I get it. But to get that upset over an affair that happened before Julia was even born, it seemed a little sad to me. At the very least, Julia probably should have just said “No thanks, Eileen, I don’t want to edit this”, rather than letting the drama escalate that far. It all just felt, and continues to feel, a little melodramatic. And then, for Eileen to document the argument in a monetized video with a staged thumbnail, just kind of felt strange and insincere. Couples fight, that’s normal, but I personally think it’s better to keep these issues private and off the internet. And that’s not just because you’re opening yourself up to the public- it doesn’t matter what the subscribers think. It’s not about the fans. It’s a reflection of YOU, the content creator, for putting out such private, insecure material and essentially asking for positive reinforcement in return.
Another thing I’ve noticed, and I’ll put this bluntly- Eileen appears to be changing herself, physically and personality-wise, to better suite Julia. At the introduction of Eileen’s emergence into YouTube (she started her own channel shortly after moving in with Julia), we all came to love Eileen as the wise, articulate, dark-haired classic beauty we met in the beginning. It is actually fascinating to me how differently Eileen acts when she is making videos by herself, versus when she is filming with Julia. Eileen is a beautiful speaker and captivating storyteller- something you notice right away in her videos. Her character, authentic or not (we’ll get to that too), is well-established: a soft-spoken, wise women in touch with political science and psychology. And then, when she appears with Julia, it’s almost like she becomes another person. I do feel really bad saying this, but in a lot of ways, it feels like Eileen is dumbing herself down to be on Julia’s bubbly, gushy, sexualized persona. Not that there’s anything wrong with being bubbly and sexy, but it does feel very apparent that Eileen is just putting on an act. In the ten months or so Eileen has been dating Julia, her Kensington flat, style, career, and even hair has been completely painted (literally and figuratively) by Julia’s influence. I’m not saying it’s wrong to feel inspired by your partner, but for Eileen, it comes across as “I really need to keep Julia, and I would do anything for her, so I’m going to change myself to better suit her internet personality.”
We have to remember that while much of their life is online, we still only get a small smidgen of what their life together is really like. All of our theories about the overall weirdness of their relationship are exactly that- theories and speculation. Maybe I’m wrong and Eileen genuinely does want a baby pink flat, new clothes, and new hair.
But, you know, maybe not.
What I’m really trying to hammer home here is that I don’t think this is completely Julia’s wrongdoing, or completely Eileen’s. I don’t think they are bad people at all, but I do think they are feeding off of each other in a way that can be genuinely unhealthy and toxic, if not downright manipulative. And I say this because I want them to be happy and healthy, but I just don’t think they are. And it’s bothering me.
Like I said though, I don’t know them personally and I’m not their marriage counselor. These are just my two cents. Moving on.
Julia and Eileen have a very evident, on-screen tendency to coddle each other relentlessly when the other person says something unexpected or hard to hear, even if it’s, you know, TRUE (like the fact that Eileen will likely be deceased of old age in two decades- Julia literally cannot stand to hear that because she is so attached to Eileen).. It’s hard to describe what I’m talking about unless you’ve seen their videos, but the nature of appearing as gushy and babied essentially walking on eggshells around each other really does hammer home the fact that this entire aura could be a facade. Not to say they aren’t in love- I think they definitely are mad for each other- but this weird over-romanticized, over-sexualized, perfect, incredible love they are painting on each other does feel very artificial and somewhat childish. In a way, it almost feels like they’ve run out of things to say to each other, so they’re using this “Oh, baby, I love you so much” coddling as conversation filler. I’m a touchy person myself, but watching Julia and Eileen can make me cringe sometimes because it feels like…bad acting. I think Julia and Eileen genuinely see themselves as this incredible love story that’s on such a deeper level than everyone else, when really, I would argue that their love is perhaps less special than they think it is, and more or less just a giant, fluffy picture they are trying to paint for themselves and for the viewers. Like, “Hey, maybe if we really over-do how fantastic and special or love is, people will really see how much we care about each other!”
Why do you have to do that, though? Why can’t you just let your behaviour and apparent love for one another be organic? Normal, healthy couples, in my opinion, usually don’t need to constantly remind each other in a baby-voice how devoted and enthralled to the other person they are.
I’ve rambled on long enough about the prior red flags, so let’s get into the new drama Julia and Eileen have found themselves in.
Up until that point, I wasn’t really too concerned in analyzing the red flags. They seemed happy, obviously. I cried during their wedding video, because it was genuinely sweet. I’ve even written a couple articles about Julia here on my blog, praising her bravery, uniqueness, and entertainment qualities. I traveled to New York City to meet her, and I had a nice time. Julia is a good person.
I did not, however, have an opportunity to meet Eileen, and that has to do with the tEeEaaA.
(I’m sorry, *family emergency*.)
I’m not going to give you the complete rundown, because there are videos out there for that, but here’s the general gist: fourteen years ago, Eileen was two weeks late returning a rental car while she was addicted to prescription drugs, did not pay back her late fees, and immediately afterwards, got on a plane and moved to London. Then, a few weeks ago, Eileen was arrested at the airport where she and Julia landed in New York for the meet and greets (a warrant for her arrest had been out after she was late returning the car and didn’t pay for it). There have been rumors floating around that some other shady things happened in-between those fourteen years, such as Eileen having different aliases and possibly committing fraud, but nothing has been confirmed or proven yet. As of right now, all we know is that Eileen was arrested at the airport and taken to jail after her warrant popped up on her passport, and Julia (understandably) had a complete meltdown.
This is a horrible situation for Julia, but in her video explanation, it felt to me like she was playing it down and trying to protect Eileen from negative scrutiny. But it doesn’t matter who you are- if you are guilty of a crime, then it’s fair to assume that you will face ugly consequences.
Eileen’s videos have always been formed on the basis of her past- reflecting on her past, reflecting on loss, coming out in the 80s, etc. Recently, she spoke in her videos about her experiences being addicted to drugs while she lived in New York City and Los Angeles, and though she hasn’t explicitly mentioned her criminal record, it’s easy for viewers to piece together how they are intertwined. Eileen mentions that being on drugs stunted her ability to make good choices, and Julia insists as well that Eileen was “not in a good place” while her criminal record was stacking up fourteen years ago.
That part is not untrue. Of course mental illness and drug addiction can cause people to make huge mistakes, no matter how harmless and good-intentioned a person is. It’s pretty obvious from watching Eileen’s videos that she’s not violent or evil. Did she fuck up a little in the past? Yeah. Maybe actually a lot? That’s also possible. There’s way more to the story than we know.
My takeaway from the video, however, and what I expect to see from Eileen’s upcoming explanation, is that mental health will be used as a crutch as to why Eileen should be excused from these crimes. Obviously, returning a late rental car isn’t the worst thing you can do, but it’s still a form of theft by deception. Even worse, she chose not to address the warrant for FOURTEEN FREAKING YEARS, hence why she was arrested immediately upon landing in New York. It’s probably true that the police were a little aggressive in handling Eileen, and I do think it’s wrong that she was denied her medications, but I more or less understand everything else. You commit a crime, you get reprimanded. It doesn’t matter if you weren’t in a good mental place or not. It makes it even worse that you put off the charges for so long.
Also, isn’t Eileen’s whole shebang politics? How did she NOT see this coming? Those records just don’t get erased.
So, this is where things get a little chaotic. Julia mentions in her video that Eileen is now registered as a “flight risk”, which I believe is because she was arrested getting off an airplane. (By the way, if you’re wondering how Eileen got out of the country in the first place, she has dual citizenship and thus two passports. At least, I think that’s probably how it happened).
The problem is this: Julia and Eileen live in London. I’m sure Julia will be able to return home just fine, but what about Eileen? I can almost guarantee you that they won’t be letting her back on a plane until this mess gets sorted out. What happens next?
Today is Saturday, and Julia is posting part II of her “jail vlog” on Monday. Until we have information, there isn’t much more I can factually analyze, but I do have some opinions.
I have mentioned before that Julia and Eileen seemingly enjoy dramatizing their lives to earn more views and likes on their videos. This isn’t something completely unheard of- the only YouTuber I can think of who doesn’t essentially pimp out their videos is our lord and saviour, miss Jenna Marbles.
So what I’m trying to say is, I’m not really surprised they enjoy over-emotionalizing their content to get more traffic on YouTube. That’s how they earn an income, and if other people want to tune into the narrative, then that’s fine too. But the way they are handling the current legal situation is too weird and melodramatic for even me: dividing the “jail vlog” up into two parts like it’s a Lifetime special, a cringey, obviously staged thumbnail (featuring Eileen’s mugshot, how fun and trendy!), and then, Eileen’s response to the video. “Sensual whispers.”
AUGHH. I’m sorry, guys. It’s so FREAKING weird and contrived and obviously designed to generate an artificial emotional response. Normal! couples! don’t do this! to! each other!
Again,
NORMAL *clap* COUPLES *clap* DON’T *clap* DO *clap* THIS *clap*.
Like I said, I certainly don’t have a problem with two women in love. I don’t take issue to the age gap. This isn’t me jumping on my computer to write up a hate speech about two women who actually seem very lovely, respectively (moreso Julia, increasingly less so Eileen). This is about the strange, coddling, unhealthy dynamic they have developed for each other. This is about Julia, willingly or not, molding Eileen to be exactly the way she wants- peppy, perky, raunchy, and really pink. This is about Eileen bending over backwards to keep Julia, professing her passionate love in pre-scripted soliloquies, ways of speech that literally nobody speaks in, just to garner “ooohs” and “aaahs” from their audience. This is about Eileen hiding her criminal past from Julia until the very last minute, and then dumping the load onto her like she’s a pile of garbage.
Here’s what I genuinely HOPE will happen. I hope Julia and Eileen will come to the realization that the dynamic of their relationship has some seemingly unhealthy tendencies, and they will work together as a team to grow their love in a more authentic, behind the camera manner (preferably, they come to this realization on their own, because I really don’t like to see them get hate). Or, they realize they’re just not suited for each other the way they thought they were in the honeymoon phase. I don’t want them to go through a messy divorce, tangled in the realization that they don’t really know each other- just the happy image they have created for themselves on the internet. You have to keep in mind, they haven’t even been officially together for a full year. There’s a lot you don’t know about a person when you’re just meeting them, and sadly, it sounds like Julia is just now taking the time to learn these important aspects of Eileen’s personality- the ones she probably tried to ignore for a long time while she was lost in la-la-rainbow sparkles land with Eileen on their incredible, amazing, one-of-a-kind star-crossed lovers journey. It’s obviously much easier for them to ignore the red flags and go on pretending everything is fine, because they’re so focused on not having ANY confrontation in their marriage. A failed marriage to Julia means she’s let everyone down- including her fans who followed them so adoringly.
While browsing PULL, I came across this post that more or less sums up most of my feelings on the matter. To protect the privacy of the poster, because I’m not sure if she wants her username out there, I’ll leave the quote anonymous:
“I’m conflicted about this stuff with Eileen. On the one hand she genuinely could just have mental health issues, had an addiction and a hard life due to not having family support and being alone in the world. I can see how the car thing could have easily could have happened in the throes of an addiction and I certainly don’t think she should have been arrested for it…however, I feel like there’s just something “off” about her. Like, why the name changes? Why is she married to a 24 year old? I’m immediately suspicious of of any 60 year old that would go out with someone that young. If she was a man we’d all think she was a predator- and maybe she is. I also find her false way of speaking creepy af and kinda psychopathic (sensual whispers??). It’s just not real- this woman is clearly faking. The way she’s always on her phone, never seems to be fully present with Julia, how she’s always drunk and has that alcohol collection. Plus, I notice in videos it seems like she’s just putting on a fake persona whenever Julia can get her away from her phone. Like she’s all somber scrolling through the Internet and then Julia’s like “hi baby!!!!” And Eileen snaps into action. The whole thing is hella weird. I feel sorry for Julia, I think she’s very young and naive, she obviously has some issues and wants attention. Eileen on the other hand is an old woman who knows exactly what she’s doing.”
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up nicely.
Realistically though, I’m not sure if Julia and Eileen are willing to examine their relationship in all of its raw, damaged reality. I don’t want to sound like a debbie downer, but honestly, at the rate this is going, I’d be surprised if this holds out another 3-5 years, and even that’s generous. Especially now that Eileen may be stuck in the US, I can only imagine the amount of problems this is going to cause. If anything, I think Julia deserves better than this if Eileen can’t properly sort out her own legal matters. Like, come on. She did have fourteen years to take care of this. You can fire off all the excuses you want, but at the end of the day, it’s irresponsible and unfair to Julia. Because trust me, nothing about this has been cheap for Julia.
MONDAY UPDATE!
My first thought after this: Julia obviously doesn’t think she (or EILEEN) has done anything wrong. Oof.
I highly recommend you watch the video yourself if you want the full scoop. I will be going over part two in a general overview, but this will mostly be my own thoughts and opinions.
Part two leaves off with Julia hiring a lawyer (for which she takes out a loan of $7,000) and then borrowing an additional $2,500 from a friend in London to pay for Eileen’s bail. Otherwise, according to Julia, Eileen would have stayed in jail for another few weeks. In the midst of all this, we find out Eileen had ANOTHER warrant out for her arrest from 2001, resulting from a bounced check for a car payment.
So let’s break that down together. Julia, who has subjectively done nothing wrong, had to take out almost $10K in loans for her wife’s mistakes, who is 37 years her senior and should have known better in the first place. All because she couldn’t handle Eileen being in jail for another few weEkS, you know, paying fairly for her crimes. If Julia had just waited for Eileen to sort this out herself and let Eileen do her time, she could have saved a whole lot of money. But instead, Julia spent a ridiculous amount of time and money taking care of her sixty-one year-old wife’s botched criminal record.
In case you couldn’t tell, I’m unhappy that Julia felt the need to do that. Now she’s taking a problem that wasn’t even hers to begin with and placing all this financial baggage on her shoulders, when Eileen should be the one literally paying for her deeds. It just really broke my heart that Julia’s immediate reaction was to dig herself into debt for Eileen, and then say she’s going to have to get “a lot of sponsorships” to make up the money. Because truthfully, Eileen is nothing short of an angel in Julia’s eyes who can do no wrong, and all of this is just a huge misunderstanding, and everything will be back to rainbows and hearts soon. The debt of $10,000 and being stuck in another country is just a small damper on things, nothing important, of course.
But Julia, you shouldn’t have to do that. Eileen should be the one repaying the 10 grand, not you. It’s as simple as that. Even if they have joint bank accounts (which I doubt), it should still be Eileen’s responsibility to make up the money.
Julia reveals at this point that she and Eileen are completely broke. They just got married, had a lavish honeymoon, traveled to the US, and now, Julia has completely drained her savings bailing Eileen out of jail. They couldn’t even afford their hotel for the last two days in New York, and had to stay with a friend.
Of course, Julia and Eileen will still continue to project this fabricated, celebrity image that they’re famous and living the easy life, going out to bars and restaurants every night, and vlogging it for their fans.
In the footage of Eileen and Julia reuniting outside the jail (yes, they got someone to film it), Eileen said some things to Julia that seemed totally inappropriate in the moment to me. One of the first things she said was that she missed Julia’s body, and that she was afraid she’d have to sleep with another prisoner in return for a cup of coffee. Just, you know, the usual things you say to your wife who just spent $9,500 bailing you out of the clink.
By the way, Eileen’s 2001 charged was dropped, but the nightmare is still not over, despite Julia’s overwhelming aura of “It’s fine, everything is fine!”
Julia says in her video that she and Eileen have to stay in America until at least the end of the month so Eileen can attend a court hearing in New Jersey. However, if you look at Eileen’s public legal records, you can clearly see that she has another court date scheduled in February of 2020- six months from now. Considering they can’t even afford a hotel at the moment, I can only imagine the havoc this will ensue for their relationship. Also, I probably don’t need to reinforce this, but this is pretty much entirely Eileen’s fault.
Conclusion: Julia wants to be rich, famous, and settled down in a nice city living a lavish life with her wife, who she knows will do anything for her. Eileen is a shady thrill-seeker with a criminal record and a *possible* history of fraud under an alias, hence how they are able to afford these very nice things. Together, they are far too attached to each other and struggling to communicate on the level to adults should be able to. I feel bad for both of them, but mostly Julia because she is sweet and naive and probably going out of her mind at the moment, even if she keeps telling herself that everything is fine. Eventually, I won’t be surprised if she cracks from the stress and deceit of discovering Eileen’s shady past. And of course, she’ll document it in a five-part monetized divorce blog series, because hey, she has to pay off that $10K somehow. There’s also speculation she sold the story to Barcroft for some extra money, so we’ll have to wait and see about that.
As of today, Tuesday, Eileen has not really publicly spoken about the situation or addressed it in a video (which is very weird, considering this is her mess). This article will be out on Wednesday the 28th, so if Eileen does post a response before then, I’ll edit something in my thoughts (if I have something new to say, that is. I have a feeling her video will be mostly excuses and I’ve already commented on that quite a bit). If not, this is where my giant monologue ends, unless a part two must ensue.
Please let me know your thoughts and feelings in the comments (unless you just want to shit all over Julia, then keep your hate to yourself), and if you liked this article, let me know by sharing it! I’m sorry it’s such a clusterfuck and probably took ten years to read, and in the 1% chance Julia is reading this- hey Julia, I’m sorry, I really like you a lot and wish the best for you. But your fans are concerned- not because we have anything against you, but because we genuinely do care about your happiness.
1/16/2020 Update: https://diplomatsdigest.wordpress.com/2020/01/16/more-thoughts-on-the-julia-eileen-fiasco-the-adventure-continues/
All of the pictures I’ve used in this article are screenshots I’ve taken of actual court documents and video thumbnails. Below, I’ve included the links to these documents if you want to read them in full yourself. Also, the first picture is from her Instagram.
Public arrest records: (Click “I am not a robot” and it will bring you to the page. If the link has expired, you can find her profile on the website for New York State Unified Court System.) https://iapps.courts.state.ny.us/webcrim_attorney/captcha
PDF’s to Eileen’s alleged other “business”: https://beta.companieshouse.gov.uk/company/07919257/filing-history
