I was so excited by the prospect of making this list, I literally started writing down ideas in late December. Seriously. I tried my best to avoid politics and social issues, and focus more on media and societal customs, so you’re probably not gonna find a lot of controversial drama here. That being said, I certainly have compiled some very, very unpopular opinions, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I got some angry comments! 

-First and foremost, I am extremely against ever watching deleted scenes from a movie/tv show I love. I don’t really know how to explain why. I think it has something to do with the fact that I don’t like seeing things that didn’t “really happen” on a show I follow closely, if that makes sense. Thinking about watching deleted scenes actually kind of stresses me out.

-I think pasta tastes better when it’s slightly undercooked, rather than being fully cooked.

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Mmm. al dente.

-I don’t think I could ever justify buying a large candle, or wanting one for myself. They take SO LONG to burn, and I would absolutely get sick of the same smell after six months. I really think giant candles that take years to burn make absolutely no sense.

-Watching soap cutting videos on youtube gives me stress, rather than relaxation. I mean, they’re sliding the knife around so close to their hands! I always cringe when I see someone cutting soap.

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-I think musical theater is kind of boring. If someone asked me to see a Broadway musical, I would probably say no. I also think movie theaters are boring. That being said, I think this has to do with my ADHD, because I hate sitting in one place for a while and just focusing on one thing.

-I’m an animal lover all the way, and I do think all dogs are cute, but I don’t think long-haired dogs are as cute as short-haired dogs. To me, a poodle or a yorkshire terrier just looks like a grungy old man with a giant beard. That being said, if a long-haired dog came up to me, I wouldn’t spit on it or anything like that. I just wouldn’t think it’s as cute as, say, a corgi.

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Sorry, it’s a no from me.

-I think John Krasinski looks better without his beard. Sue me.

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-Speaking of The Office, while I’m so happy that Michael and Holly ended up together, I felt like Holly was super annoying in seasons six and seven. Like, we’re supposed to believe that their love is so strong and magical, but for about twenty episodes, she wanted nothing to do with him and tried to downplay all Michael’s advances. It didn’t really feel like she wanted to be with him, until the ending of season seven, when she randomly changes her mind and decides she does want to be with Michael.

-Summertime is my LEAST FAVORITE season. I don’t hate many things, but I absolutely despise the summer with a burning, flaming passion. I cry every year on the first day of summer. Heat makes me super itchy and rashy, I feel super lazy and don’t want to do anything, or go anywhere, or walk, or, run, or EVEN BREATHE. SUMMER IS MISERABLE. And don’t even get me started on the beach. I would rather slam my head in a car door than go to the beach and fry in the sun all day.

-I don’t think Disney World is the most magical place on Earth. In fact, I think it’s one of the least magical places on Earth. Obviously, the intense spanking heat is a nightmare for me, but I also don’t like crowds at all. Also, too many screaming kids. And I could never justify waiting in a two hour line for about TWO MINUTES of mediocre thrills. If you want some free thrills, lean back in a chair.

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-I’m not sure how well this will translate, but it kind of drives me up a fucking wall when people above the age of sixteen are obsessed with Disney. I’m talking about the people who love Disney World, take all the Disney Buzzfeed quizzes, have Disney tattoos, have Disney quotes in their social media bios, and generally just never shut up about how much they love Disney. Like, you do you, but I just can’t wrap my head around this weird millennial Disney obsession. And Buzzfeed, you need to calm down with the Disney content before I punch my computer screen to pieces.

-I don’t understand how I’m supposed to feel about James Charles. Is he supposed to be funny? Sexy? Smart? I don’t know what he’s trying to put out, but frankly, I don’t think he’s any of those things.

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THIS IS NOT A LOOK?!

-I totally agree that “Thank U, Next” is a catchy song, but I don’t understand the entire freaking monopoly it has on the music industry. We get it, you had a three-word tweet that everyone loved. Then decided to turn it into a song and a music video, and everyone literally lost their shit. I don’t know guys, I don’t get it. It’s a good song, but I don’t think it’s groundbreaking musical genius content. Maybe it’s partly because I don’t like it when artists extensively lionize themselves, and I feel like that’s what Ariana Grande was kind of doing.

-I don’t think concerts are all that fun. Concerts are loud, hot, sweaty, and, for my ADHD fatass self, BOOOORING. Maybe I would consider going to a concert if it was for a band I’m obsessed with, but I could never make a hobby out of it. They really just seem like a hassle to me.

-I think pineapple definitely does belong on pizza. Come @ me.

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Perfect 😉

-I would much, much rather take a longer-routed backroad than sit in traffic. I don’t care if sitting in traffic makes the trip a smidge shorter, I don’t want to be stuck going nowhere.

-I don’t like it when pregnancy websites compile lists of names but call them “baby” names. Yeah, maybe you get your name when you’re a baby, but you’re not a baby forever. It’s still going to be your name after you’re a baby. Can we stop calling them “baby names” and start calling them “people” names? Thank you.

-I don’t like The Red Hot Chili Peppers or The Black Eyed Peas. I just don’t think their melodies, voices, or lyrics are very interesting.

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-Why does missionary position get so much flack? Missionary is great. It’s fun for everyone, and if you’re the girl, you get to be lazy and not even move.

-THE WEEK STARTS ON A MONDAY. WHO THE FUCK DECIDED THE WEEK STARTS ON A SUNDAY? SUNDAY IS THE END OF THE WEEKEND AND THUS THE END OF THE WEEK. SUNDAY IS NOT THE BEGINNING OF ANYTHING.

-I don’t think Liza Koshy is that funny. I also don’t think David Dobrik is that attractive. That being said, I think he would look somewhat more attractive with a mullet.

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-Why does everyone hate M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village? I actually thought it was a really fascinating, beautifully executed movie. That being said, I haven’t seen any of Shyamalan’s other movies, so I don’t have anything to compare The Village to.

-What is the appeal of skiing? Why do people find skiing enjoyable? I like to minimize my time out in the grueling snow, first of all, and then you go ahead and add some obnoxious heavy rods to hang off my feet and wear me down. I just don’t see how skiing can be fun, guys.

-Alligators are so cute, and I want to give them all pats on the head.

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Pat pat pat.

-I don’t like to chew gum. It’s fun for the first five minutes, until you loose all the flavor and then it just feels like you’re chewing on a piece of rubber.

-I didn’t think Robert California was all that bad. Yeah, he was kinda creepy and eccentric, but the man was also a genius.

-On the flippity flip, I didn’t really get the character of Erin. I know she was supposed to be the ditzy character, but she was so downright dumb it actually started to annoy me after a couple of seasons. By season 9, I couldn’t even take her character seriously.

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-Although I do not identify with any religion or spiritual group, I do think that Satanism really isn’t that bad. Of course, there are things I don’t agree with in Satanism (like the attitude of vengeance), but I really identify with the idea that you should be your own higher power. I also love that Satanism puts a heavy emphasis on equal rights, sexual freedom, feminism, and a strong relationship with nature.

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Anton LaVey was honestly a pretty chill dude.

-I don’t like sweet potatoes.

-I am going to be shunned by the vintage makeup gods for saying this, and I’m really sad to report this, but here it goes…I really wasn’t wowed by the Besame makeup products. In the defense of Besame, I do think that there products are good for people with a certain makeup taste, but Besame is personally not my favorite. I found that the lipsticks do slip around a lot, because they are so creamy, and that’s just not personally something I like. I also liked the cake mascara in theory, but found it difficult to apply and very time-consuming. With that being said, there are a lot of Besame products I haven’t tried, like the eye shadow, so maybe I need to give those a whirl.

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Anyway, that’s everything I’ve compiled so far. If I think of some more unpopular opinions, I’ll be sure to publish another one of these articles! What do you think? Do we share any unpopular opinions? Let me know below!

Coming up next: Taco Tuesday: Making a Vegan Dessert Taco

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Pictures:

https://www.mashed.com/33173/mistakes-everyone-makes-when-cooking-pasta/

Yorkshire Terrier

Heroes of muscle: John Krasinski

https://today.yougov.com/topics/food/articles-reports/2019/02/04/pineapple-pizza-toppings-pepperoni-popular

David and Liza: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know

http://www.tv.com/news/the-office-suit-warehouse-review-erin-and-the-allegory-of-the-pens-30433/

The secret history of Jayne Mansfield’s bizarre connection to the Church of Satan

https://www.modcloth.com/shop/accessories/besame-cosmetics-1920-besame-red-lipstick/156048.html

 

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*SPOILERS.* Read at your own risk.

Last week, I produced a four-page psychological analysis of “Dinner Party” from The Office. Today we’re going in a completely different direction and exploring a Netflix mini docu-series titled The Keepers, which came on the scene in mid 2017. I started and finished the entire series in one weekend, clutching my pillow to my chest with the shades drawn tight in broad daylight. I was astonished. I couldn’t stop watching it. And now, more than a year later, I’m still astonished. How is this show not being talked about more? What’s going to happen next? And WHO KILLED SISTER CATHY CESNIK?

Let me backtrack.

The Keepers is a seven-episode American documentary series released onto Netflix, which, as I said, was released about a year and a half ago. It explores the unsolved murder of Baltimore nun Sister Cathy Cesnik in 1969, the mysterious circumstances surrounding her death, the corruption of the Catholic church in America, and oh, just some horrific sex trafficking masterminded by a priest at an all-girls school in 1969. Just, you know, your everyday stuff.

Since then, there have been countless forums, articles, and videos designated to discussing the series. The goal of this article isn’t to spill the entire plot to you and provide an episode-by-episode analysis of everything that happens, but instead just express my own thoughts and feelings about the show. And I can tell you straight away that my feelings are overwhelmingly positive about the entire series.

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One of the biggest components that makes this show so heartbreaking is the fact that Cathy Cesnik was clearly such a wonderful, generous, incredible human being. Every account told of her on the show is overwhelmingly positive and filled with love- especially from her former students at the Catholic all-girl school Archbishop Keough High School. As a beloved English teacher for countless young women, the news of Cathy’s disappearance and subsequent death is a tragedy that has remained with them for more than forty years.

In the years after Cathy’s death, over a hundred women came forward to testify that they had been raped, sexually abused, and molested by Father A. Joseph Maskell- the head priest of Keough at the time of Cathy’s death and disappearance. One woman in particular, known at the time simply as Jane Doe, claimed that Maskell had not only been the mastermind of the sexual abuse ring, but also the organizer of Cathy’s murder. She claims that after disclosing to Cathy the abuse occuring at the school, Maskell silenced her to avoid the story getting out to law enforcement and school officials. Which, apparently it did, because the case wasn’t really thoroughly examined until THIRTY FREAKING YEARS LATER.

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I know that was a lot to take in, but trust me, that’s literally only the tip of the iceberg. Just wait until you get to crazy Billy, the bombastic man who allegedly kept a nun’s uniform in his attic and brooded around his house, madly obsessing over the “woman in the attic”.

Yeah.

The key term here is “alleged.” None of the evidence explained on the show has actually been physically proven, but by the time you hit episode three, you almost don’t even care. I know I sure didn’t- I was just waiting for this pervert Maskell to be thrown in the clink. The entire story is so twisted and yet so, so believable, you’ll be ready to smack the Archdiocese of Baltimore upside the head by the time you finish the show. It really is a prime example of victim-shaming in an age where the church rules the state, men have the ultimate authority over what is right and what is wrong, and the only goal of the court is to silence the victims as quickly and effectively as possible. It’s all very unnerving to watch unfold.

Infuriatingly, Maskell actually died at the age of sixty-two in 2001, which means there isn’t much we can do now to prove his guilt in this case. Despite the lack of physical evidence, however, the amount of letters and and testimonies brought to court against him made me practically burst out in tears for these poor women. It’s hard enough to imagine going through what they suffered in the late sixties and early seventies, but to be discredited by an entire jury and church just because the statute of limitations had passed? That’s, like, a whole new level of madness.

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I believe Jane Doe. I believe every victim who has ever come forward with the accusation that Father Maskell was an evil, disturbing, sinister excuse for a human being. I believe he did have something to do with the unsolved murder of Cathy Cesnik. And I deeply believe you will too, once you tune into the show.

Watch it for yourself on Netflix and be sure to tell me what you think in the comments below!

And watch the trailer here: https://youtu.be/Khr7dbuBjuE

Coming up next: First Impressions: Reviewing Cheap Makeup From Hush.com

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Jan thinks Hunter is very talented. You know what? I don’t think he’s that good.

*SPOILERS (Duh)*

I won’t lie. After I watched “Dinner Party” for the first time, I scoured the internet for hours in hopes of finding a legitimate essay about this episode. I mean, every aspect of it is utterly fascinating and layered with ingenious comedy, so why wouldn’t somebody write that?

As someone who has proudly seen The Office in its entirely three times, I can safely say that 1) I don’t have a social life, and 2) I have a decent understanding of the characters on the show. Part of The Office’s beauty rests in the character development- most notably in Michael, Jan, Angela, and, of course, Jim and Pam.

I was a little horrified (but later entranced) by Jan Levinson’s slow descending into madness. She started off emotionally strong and even somewhat sane, compared to the other characters, in seasons 1 & 2. Her strong dislike of Michael Scott is justified and understandable (the man was and  always will be a nutcase), so why does her opinion of him do a complete 180 from season 3 onward? These are the big questions in life I need answers to.

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As we all know, it is the cringe-worthy uncomfortable humor of The Office that makes it absolutely magical. And “Dinner Party” is really one of those golden highlights- “Oh yeah, this is why I love the show so much!” It’s a turning point in Michael’s life, on top of being a turning point for the viewers as a whole. And so our story begins at the infamous Michael Scott condo, following a questionable overtime assignment from corporate.

The strain of Jan and Michael’s relationship is conspicuous within the first two minutes of the party. Thankfully, we have the overwhelming normalcy of Jim and Pam’s present so you can’t ignore how painfully awkward the hosts are. The constant weird touching and pet names exchanged between Jan and Michael quite literally last from beginning to end, even after the climax.

(That’s what she said.)

I’m now beginning to understand why Jim turned down this dinner invitation nine times. Michael’s overpowering craving to please a woman (and Jan’s obsession with being craved) immediately creates an awkward tension between the two. For the first time in the history of the show, I actually found myself feeling sorry for Michael Scott.

Jan’s dominance in the relationship is literally sprinkled throughout the entire condo. One of my favorite moments of the entire episode is when Jim and Pam discover that Michael sleeps on the world’s tiniest bench due to Jan’s “space issues.” And then, later on the tour of the condo, Jan is sure to bombard her guests with pride in her candle-making space and personal luxuries. Michael, on the other hand, can only take comfort in his laughably measly “two-hundred dollar plasma screen TV.” I began to view Michael’s insistence on Jim and Pam coming for dinner as a cry for help, rather than a simple act of courtesy. I mean, who wouldn’t if they had to share such a small space with Jan Levinson?

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Jan is obsessed with dominance. We’re not quite sure why- is it because she feels discarded from her prized workplace at Dunder Mifflin, her failed first marriage, or something else that digs even deeper? I couldn’t help (through my laughter) feeling pretty sorry for the both of them. And Michael, bless his stupid soul, truly feels that he is getting some sort of love in return from Jan. I’m assuming here that his broken family life in his early years have turned him into the submissive, affection-craving version of himself that we see in “Dinner Party.” Jan’s moderately creepy passion for Hunter the ex-assistant clearly doesn’t help either. Michael subsequently only feels more crazy for Jan’s attention once she puts on the infamous jam, “That One Night” (a song that I can only describe as overtly sexual and clearly about a past experience between Jan and Hunter.)

Another little side-story I enjoyed in this episode was Jan’s delusional belief that Pam and Michael once did something “resembling dating.” Jan clearly sees Pam as a threat, somebody whom Michael trusts and confides in. Jan even undergoes a dramatic boob job in a prior episode (maybe to one-up Pam and her pam-pams?). Jan’s accusations towards Pam, albeit uncomfortable to watch, reveal so much more about Jan’s ridiculous jealousy of other women. Even Angela gets in on the drama, but we all expected that, right?

At this point, we’re about halfway done with the episode, but the fun doesn’t stop here. The beloved Dwight Schrute and his “purely carnal” formal babysitter have now joined the party, much to Jan’s dismay. Angered that the power in the relationship has been taken away from her, she accuses Michael of always getting his way. And, because there’s no way for me to explain Michael’s response without including full context, I’ll just drop it here:

When I said that I wanted to have kids and you said that you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then, when you said that you might want to have kids and I wasn’t so sure? Who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you definitely didn’t wanna have kids? Who had is reversed back! Snip snap snip snap snip snap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person. And I bought the condo, to fill will children!”

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Yeah, if you hadn’t already grasped the severity of Jan and Michael’s f*cked-up relationship, you definitely did now.

Throughout the night, tensions between Michael and Jan only worsen. In what appears to be a bold attempt to take back his dominance, Michael retrieves his neon St. Pauli beer sign and places it directly in the dining room during dinner. Jan fires back by yet again blasting Hunter’s love warble. And so begins one of the most violently dramatic encounters of the entire show: Jan vigorously hurls one of Michael’s prized dundies at his television and cracks the plasma screen.

As painful as the scene is to watch, you can’t help but feel happy that Jan and Michael are finally being brutally honest with each other. The physical destruction of their home mirrors the dissolving of their foundation as a couple- especially in the final shot when Jan is trying to glue back together the broken dundie. She wishes she could salvage her power over Michael, but it’s no use- he’s long gone from her now.

The final moments of the episode show turn their attention to the other couples of The Office. In true Jim Halpert nature, he steals Hunter’s CD and plays it in the car for a delighted Pam. Andy attempts to flirt with Angela, per usual, but just ends up with ice cream smeared across his car. And Michael goes to stay with Dwight for the night- yet another example of Dwight’s undying devotion to his boss.

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It’s amazing how much self-destruction you can watch two characters go through in only twenty minutes. That’s just the power of The Office, I guess- several small slapstick moments coming together to form one giant beautiful tale.

Coming up next: What’s in Season in the Month of November?